By LYNNE IRONS

What’s up with the salmonella on tomatoes? I have several thoughts on the subject. Bear with me as they are somewhat disjointed. First of all, big farmers are plowing up their fields as the market is so bad and they are trying to get another crop of something else into the ground while there is still time.

I say good riddance. They are tasteless anyway. There is still time for you to purchase a few plants at the various nurseries and grow your own. Catylin at Mermaid Farm has hundreds of plants and will be selling ripe tomatoes at the Farmers’ Market in West Tisbury. It is located at the Grange Hall on Saturdays and Wednesdays from 9 a.m. until noon.

Then, there is the new American fear factor. One thousand people nationwide have died from eating the supposed killer tomatoes. I don’t see tobacco farmers plowing under their fields as a result of smoking-related deaths.

Granted, I have a limited understanding of salmonella. I thought one could contract it when raw chicken precedes food on the cutting board. Let’s say the tomato in question was sliced after the raw chicken breast. The big vat of omelet mixture in a restaurant could also be suspect. Perhaps a piece of microscopic poo on a shell carelessly dropped into the pot? How exactly could a skin-protected tomato go bad?

I bullied my friend Amanda into picking my green beans. I had hoped against hope to make up a big bath of dilly beans. To refresh your memory, I will repeat last July’s recipe for Holly Pease’s Dilly Beans.

3 cups water

1 cup apple cider vinegar

2 Tablespoons salt

A couple of cloves of garlic

Pack the raw beans and two heads of dill into pint jars, cover with the boiling vinegar mixture, and process 10 minutes in a boiling water bath.

Children love these. They are way better than dill pickles. Naturally, my weekend got away from me so I had to steam those beans and ate them with vinaigrette for lunch all week.

There is so much to do this time of year. I am happy to report that I have never been bored a day in my life. The garden is a train wreck. I have to find the vegetables from memory. Isn’t it odd how much faster the weeds grow than anything you coddle?

Amanda and I discussed the shark sightings. She brought up a great conspiracy theory. (I love them.) Those who want the shark tournament to continue “reported.”

Since last week’s Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act bill passed in the Senate, I reread the Fourth Amendment to the Constitution. American citizens can now be wiretapped without a warrant. The amendment reads, “Security of the Home: The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers and effects against unreasonable searches and seizures shall not be violated and no warrants shall issue but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.”

I love how we have been duped into believing this is okay as we are not doing anything wrong. Says who? If I say something out of line on a private phone conversation will I be shipped to Syria, have my fingernails ripped out and denied a lawyer?

I am totally hopeless as a garden column writer. How you put up with me is questionable.

The Baptist Church Home-Grown Market at the corner of Spring and William streets in Vineyard Haven on Saturday from 9 a.m. until 1 p.m. is taking off. They need more vendors. Anyone interested in selling their garden produce or hand crafts can contact Lynn Tuck at 508-693-5186.