Let me get a couple of business items out of the way. I hate it when I tell a lame joke and no one gets it but me. To wit: last week I meant to call my old donkey an asinine along the lines of equine, bovine, porcine, feline and canine but my editor quoted me as saying he was an ass. Even she thinks I am hopeless.

Secondly, to my anonymous critic: While I fully support your First Amendment right to free speech, I put my name on my opinions. Let’s just refresh everyone’s memory about the Constitution of the United States. Article I. Personal Freedom. Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, or to petition the government for a redress of grievances. Further powers denied to Congress can be reviewed in Section 9 under the Legislative Department. Don’t even get me started concerning executive power.

I am irritated at my morning glories. Here it is after Labor Day and they are finally putting out some significant bloom. I think my soil was too rich, hence, there was a tremendous amount of healthy green, but not much color. This is also true for nasturtiums. Both prefer a more average fertility. Next year I may use all Grandpa Ott’s. It is a very dark purple, almost black, and quite stunning.

Note to self: Order extra seeds for Dwarf Buddy Gomphrena and Lemon Delight Melampodium. I used some this year and they made a wonderful combination along the border.

Now is the time to take stock and think about dividing and moving plants. Fall is an excellent time for planting new beds or adding to existing ones. I have quite a few daylillies and hostas in mind.

I missed my calling for a job in advertising. When I like a product, I can do a great sales pitch. I have a new favorite bottled salad dressing. It is Meyer Lemon Vinaigrette made by a company out of Ojai, California called Garlic Gold. I have been enjoying it on my beets mixed with hard-boiled eggs for lunch. You can purchase the dressing at Fiddlehead Farm in North Tisbury as well as wonderful selections of organic local produce.

When I heard that one of Sarah Palin’s claims to fame was her ability to field dress a moose, I promptly called my brother, Doug, for the instructions. I wanted to beef up my qualifications for the vice-presidential nomination next time.

I have had quite a bit of experience over the years processing both chicken and pork. In fact, I taught my young women workers how to prepare a pig for butchering. Perhaps there will be cabinet positions for them?

Here is the deal. After the moose has been dispatched and you need the meat for survival, you accept the fact you are in the woods with no machinery and a very large animal. The actual term is Indian dressing.

Begin by removing the skin from the belly to the uphill side and remove the meat carefully to avoid cutting into the innards. Half the weight is now gone and the animal can be wrestled over to repeat the process on the other side.

The skin and offal can be left on the ground to feed other animals. Now, you have a considerable amount of meat, probably a year’s worth for several families.

Unless you are blessed with several pack mules, you may need to rely on your husband’s gas-guzzling snowmobile to get it home.