When we consider placing wind turbines on Horseshoe Shoal and near Noman’s Land, we simply cannot throw caution to the wind and jump into this full tilt. No matter where we stand with regard to where those turbines should stand, we first need to deal with some basic meteorological and technical aspects of this energy source.

To take the meteorological aspect first, a lot has been made of the fact that we have a certain number of days in the year when the wind calls it quits. However, there is nothing wrong with windless days. It’s simply nature’s way of giving technicians a chance to spray a little WD-40 into the gears of the turbine, do a lube job, and sharpen those blades, if need be.

Should calm days drag on, our Island would just have to fall back on its old power sources — whale-oil-fired power stations and gerbil-powered wheels. As a last resort, we can always keep those turbines turning by powering them with an electric motor, which, in turn, would get its energy from solar cells. Leave it to engineers to come up with a clever solution. They might even suggest getting power from those stationary bicycles people use to get rid of energy.

A lot of hot air has been vented about the fact that the prevailing westerly winds may shift and prevail, say, from the northeast. It happens every time a nor’easter is blowing. That would cause the blades to rotate in the opposite direction and suck electricity right out of our homes. Which is a real nuisance, because once power is restored, people will be running around in their homes resetting all their digital clocks.

To erect turbines for winds from any conceivable direction would be prohibitively expensive. We would end up with virtual jungles of turbines pointing every which way so as not to miss out on a breeze from any point of the compass, not counting up- and downdrafts.

It may be more realistic to redirect wayward winds toward turbines by means of a giant windsock. Engineers, with the aid of computer models from the hosiery industry, are trying to determine the optimal sock size for this project. It’s going to be between XXXXXXXL and XXXXXXXXXXXXXL.

One idea neglected in the discussion of wind turbines is their use on hot and muggy days, when summer visitors long for some relief. That’s when turbine blades come into their own in their dual capacity as suppliers of energy and a cooling breeze.

We have two options here: We can take tourists out to the turbines for cooling off, or we can place the turbines on rafts and move them to where the tourists are. If the politicians can’t agree, the turbines and the tourists will have to meet halfway. Isn’t this called reconciliation? We could even install turbines on the ferries to serve as a power source, in case of an engine breakdown, which is not unheard of.

There are other, more unconventional energy sources to explore, such as whirligigs, which are low-tech, inexpensive, and easy to service. And nobody would oppose them on grounds of NIMBY, not in my backyard. After all, they are in widespread use already, and predominantly in people’s front yards. Let’s just hope that nobody will go NIMFY on them.

Peter Dreyer is a summer resident in Edgartown.