HOLLY NADLER

508-274-2329

(hollynadler@gmail.com)

How cool is this: There’s a Dutch town called Drachten that recently took out all traffic signs and all rules, even all parking slots. Their slogan is “unsafe is safe” because they’ve found that if people are forced to drive mindfully, they pay attention. They’re considerate. They engage in hand signals and actual eye contact, even with bicyclists; imagine that! They’ve found that without rules or signs to obey or, more realistically, to disobey, 70 per cent of the time — yep, that’s the cruel statistic — Drachten has enjoyed a big boost in vehicular safety.

We could achieve this in Oak Bluffs. We’d only need to remove about a dozen stop signs and rub away the painted lines for parking cars. We’re already partially geared toward mindful driving. The problem is that, while all of us are acculturated to be considerate part of the time, we’re never considerate all of the time, and certainly not all of us at the same time. So we’d have to work on that.

Summer people would simply need to be re-educated. We could present them with a notice at our town boundaries outlining our brave new agenda. In Holland they call the program “verkeersbordvrij” but surely we could come up with something catchier. Something like “watch the other driver’s backside so he won’t be climbing up your front side;” that could be exactly what “verkeersbordvrij” means.

Meanwhile, my son, Charlie, and his buddy, Sam Reece (parents Doug and Amy Reece of Oak Bluffs) are on a three-week Xtreme adventure in Thailand, Cambodia and Laos. This is not the sort of trip a mother signs on for when she gives birth and her only choice is go with the blue booties or the yellow booties. So far Sam and Charlie are having the time of their lives, in spite of the fact that, while they landed in Bangkok, they were discouraged from sticking around. Seems some guys in red shirts are mixing it up with some other guys in yellow shirts, and both sets of natty dressers are taking an irate position with the government.

Sam arrived first, via Taiwan, and was chased by a pack of feral dogs, plus he couldn’t find a single ATM machine that liked him. Charlie flew in at two in the morning, and within hours he and Sam traveled out of the city on wobbly buses, then bedded down in a five-buck bungalow (in bhat currency it sounds much more expensive). They made friends with a boozy Belgian, a grumpy Austrian, and some British ex-pats living in a northern Thai city called Trat. Also a local named Oi carted them off to a neighborhood steam bath. Charlie claims that everything he’s tasted is the best Thai delicacy ever, even when it resembles in every feature Ramen noodles. A shot (or two) of Thai rice whisky knocked him on his keister before ten o’clock that night. (Mama approves, not of the beverage but the early bedtime.)

So now they’re heading off to an island called Ko Chang which will position them near the Cambodian border, then on to the splendors of the ancient ruins at Angkor Wat. The highlight of their trip is an excursion in the Laotian rain forest called zip-lining. Zip-lining, for godsakes! Why don’t they just zip-line this poor mother’s heart? It’s this “fun” sport where you’re strapped into ropes and pulleys and catapulted out over jungle, canyons and the manifold wildlife snuffling, snorting, and snarling down below.

Whatever happened to nice young men making sojourns to Florence and brushing up their painting skills between visits to the Uffizi? A Room with a View has turned into Zippity Doo and Zip-line Too!

Our best-selling author, Susan Wilson, will be talking about and signing her new book, One Good Dog (reviewed in these pages — a grrreat read!) at the Oak Bluffs Library on Thursday, May 13 at 6:30 p.m.

This just in from Tom Dresser: The annual Alzheimer’s Miles of Memories Walk steps off on Sunday, May 16 at noon from the high school. The route will follow the bike path to Dodger’s Hole, then looping back for a total of 2.5 miles. If instead of walking, you’d prefer an armchair experience, you can donate to this noble cause by logging on to walk@alzcapecod.org or send a check to Alzheimer’s Services, 712 Main street, Hyannis, MA 02601. You could also shoot Tom an e-mail at thomasdresser@gmail.com.

At the Oak Bluffs School, the PTO will be holding a tag sale Saturday, May 8 from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. This fundraiser is dedicated to buying more tables for the cafeteria. Parents are encouraged to bring items all next week from 2:15 to 3:15 p.m. each day and place them in a waterproof container which will be positioned in the front of the school.