RICK HERRICK

508-693-8065

(herricklr@verizon.net)

Bob and Sally Hammett bought their home on Brewster avenue on East Chop in 1963. Bob was a parish priest in Sharon, Conn., at the time; they lived in the parsonage, and needed to own something. Their need was our gain!

A graduate of Wesleyan College and Virginia Theological Seminary, Bob was in active ministry as an Episcopal priest for 40 years. He also served as chaplain of the Emma Willard School from 1966 to 1975. During all this time, Bob has married and buried many East Choppers.

I recently went to see Bob to find out what makes for a good wedding and a good funeral. Surprisingly, his answers for both were remarkably similar. “They have to be personalized, humanized, in some way. You need to go beyond the liturgy spelled out in the prayer book,” he said. He continued: “I once did a wedding, and when I turned to the best man for the ring, it somehow popped into the air, and landed inside the bride’s dress. Of course, everyone laughed, including the bride and groom, and we completed that part of the ceremony by pretending. I wasn’t going to go fishing inside the bride’s dress. But it set a wonderful tone for the ceremony and the reception that followed.

“It also helps if the guests are enthusiastic about the couple getting married. Several years ago I married a prominent Bostonian who was 100 years old. His bride was 57. They had lived together for several years, and wanted to get married at the end of his life.

“Unfortunately, on the day of the wedding the groom didn’t feel well, so we conducted the ceremony in their bedroom. He wore a bright blue bathrobe; the bride was more traditionally attired. But the ceremony was great because all their kids and friends in attendance were enthusiastic about the couple.

“Funerals need to be personalized in the same way. A funeral that merely follows the prayer book is often sterile, flat. You need to laugh a little, cry a little, actually experience in some way the person who has departed.”

For Bob, it was always an honor to preside over these important events. “With weddings and baptisms in particular, you may establish a relationship with the family that continues well beyond the event. Participating in these special moments was one of the best parts of my job,” he said, adding:

“I also enjoyed getting up every morning and doing something new. The job of ministry is never routine. There is always something different. You also see humans unmasked. You see them at their very best, their magnificence, their courage, and sadly their pettiness and cruelty too.”

What’s it like to lead a congregation I asked. That can’t be easy.

“You’re right. It wasn’t easy,” Bob said. “I always worried that I should be doing something more or that I shouldn’t have done that. Sally was a great asset. A prominent member of my last congregation in Newtonville said that Sally was the best minister’s wife she had ever known. Because she helped in all aspects of our work without being bossy or controlling. Many ministers’ wives try to take control of parish life. Sally knew when to back off, and she has the most wonderful smile.”

If you’re in need of some good, old-fashioned, common-sense wisdom, go sit with Bob on his porch. Soft-spoken, gentle, with a wonderful smile of his own, Bob Hammet is an East Chop treasure.

On another note, a lot of important work was done at the tennis club this winter. A crew of Jim Davin, Walter Vail, Rob Potter and Bob St. Germain trimmed trees around the grounds, cleaned court drains, and fixed other outdoor problems. Steve Wilkerson has redefined the meaning of nosy neighbor. Every time Steve noses around the tennis club, he asks: “What can I do to help?” The club is fortunate to have the Wilkersons across the street, and the many volunteers who work during the off-season to enhance its facilities.