It was Columbus Day weekend, 1994. Kaye Flathers was asked to read scripture at her nephew’s wedding on Martha’s Vineyard. It was the first time she had been to the Vineyard; as she stepped off the plane, the clear, bright air invigorated her.

At the wedding, the bride had asked her uncle to read as well. After the ceremony, Kaye and the bride’s uncle, Art Flathers, got to know one other. They fell in love and were married. “We became acquainted and had 13 really wonderful years together, the best years of my life. He was so intelligent, and it was a great opportunity to share,” she said. “I used to say I fell in love with the Island before I fell in love with him.”

Art died in April 2008.

And now it was Columbus Day weekend 2010. Kaye Flathers decided it was time to return to Iowa, where three of her four children live. She has six grandchildren, five boys and a girl, and two great-grandchildren. The decision to leave the Vineyard was bittersweet. “Leaving a life I love behind me. I love it here, the atmosphere. But I am looking forward to time with my grandchildren. Every time there is change, we lose something, we gain something,” she said.

Kaye plans to live in Sioux City, Iowa, at least initially, with her eldest daughter, Shelly, whose daughter is a high school senior. Son Jeff lives in Desmoines, daughter Heather in Sibley, Iowa, and son Tim is in Los Angeles.

Following her divorce from a Methodist minister in her early 40s, Kaye put her children through college. For nine years she was the quintessential empowered woman. She herself returned to college at the age of 42. She studied cognitive behaviors in young children and later with adolescents. At first, she was overwhelmed to be back in school. “I felt my brain had gone to oatmeal,” she recalled. She earned certification to work with behaviorally disturbed children. As she gained confidence, she developed a program based on five key concepts: behavior, options, rewards, discipline and punishment. “It was so much fun,” she said of her college days.

After meeting and marrying Art Flathers at the age of 54, Kaye was no longer content to stay home. For five years she ran Birthright, a nonjudgmental support group for women unsettled by an unplanned pregnancy. But, she said, ”I wanted more, yet they were not interested in growth.” In 2000 she started Women Empowered, a program to provide guidance and support for women ready to take their lives to the next level.

“I did it all; I was a one-man band,” she recalled with a smile. Her plan was to assist women with a circular question technique, which keyed the client to solve her own problems, rather than have a facilitator offer unwanted advice. It is a method that works, she said.

Her goal for Women Empowered was to engage women to discover something about themselves which is good, even wonderful. Questions lead a client to listen to herself, then divulge what she wants to share. The client arrives at her own answer.

Some clients threw their bills away; Kaye helped them organize their lives by dealing with their responsibilities, such as finding a place to live, balancing the checkbook and dealing with credit card issues.

“We never say anything negative to a client. We are totally accepting, nonjudgmental,” Kaye said.

“She tangibly changed my life,” said one client, my own daughter Jill. Kaye said her goal in Women Empowered was to provide assistance for “all the Jills of the world.”

Jill posted her testimonial on the Women Empowered Web site (women-empowered.org):

“I was at a critical stage, once again, where I had stopped at a crossroads of life, realizing I was up against my worst enemy, myself. I wanted empowerment. I just didn’t know what it entailed. I didn’t know that it involved looking at the things in my life that scared me the most.

“After a few weeks of deliberation and debate, I decided to bring in every bill I’d shoved away, surprisingly careful never to throw out. I brought every concern about my past, present, and future. I laid the embarrassing, overwhelming mess before Kaye Flathers.

“As my shame subsided, I was relieved to find a true advocate before me, someone who would willingly and freely help me untangle all of it. I wasn’t alone. The questions and defenses I had were legitimate. The mess wasn’t insurmountable, nor was it avoidable.

“Women Empowered is an incredible program in that it teaches women the tools they need to live . . . I am proof positive that a few sessions of honest, encouraging help in a nonjudgmental atmosphere will benefit the most mixed up and overwhelmed of people to see the cold, hard facts of life as just that: cold, hard facts . . . I am forever grateful for the empowerment this has created in my life.”

The organization grew. “I had taken Christine [Williams] on as a facilitator. None of us were certified, so we called it facilitating. Christine grasped the concept from the start,” Kaye said. Christine is now president of the board of Women Empowered.

In 2007 Kaye brought Sheila Bracy aboard as executive director and the organization began to hum. “Kaye created a service for women on Martha’s Vineyard who were not being served by the existing organizations,” Sheila said. “What’s amazing about her is that for eight years she delivered the services nearly single-handedly! Her commitment, kindness and knowledge served many people on this Island who were able to successfully gain control over their lives. She’s a unique person who will be missed by many. She was my mentor and it was my honor and pleasure to work with her at Women Empowered.”

Now Kaye Flathers has moved on to the next phase of her life. “My decision to move was based on two things: minor health issues and my granddaughter, the senior, wants me back. Pressure from all the children. I came here and I love it. I will be looking for something to get my teeth into . . . something more than keeping the house clean,” she said.

At 71, Ms. Flathers has a bright future, but she will not be on the sidelines. She’ll get involved. That’s how she operates.

Gazette contributor Tom Dresser lives in Oak Bluffs.