President Obama’s annual vacation to Martha’s Vineyard has spurred lots of rumors. Here are a few that I’ve heard around the Island

• The Republican National Committee is going to criticize President Obama for staying “up Island” and not “down Island.”

• The Chilmark Community Center will be renamed in President Obama’s honor as the Chilmark Community Organizing Center.

• Larry David will be appointed director of the Anti-Social Security Administration.

• In honor of Bo and Sunny, the president’s Portuguese Water Dogs, the Black Dog will be renamed the Black and White Dog.

• The Martha’s Vineyard Commission will impose a tariff on the importation of Nantucket Nectars.

• In retaliation, the Nantucket selectmen will impose a tariff on the importation Vineyard Vines.

• After he gains approval for the agreement with Iran, President Obama will broker an agreement to the escalating trade war between the Vineyard and Nantucket by promising to take a “middle road.”

• Congressional Republicans will criticize him for not taking South Road.

• Bill Murray has offered to be the president’s caddy in exchange for swimming in his pool, not the pond.

• Mad Martha’s Ice Cream is renaming its orange sherbet. It will now be known as Donald Trump’s Skin.

• Aquinnah has adopted a slogan for the first time: “What happens in Aquinnah stays in Aquinnah.”

Charles Pinck
Chilmark and Washington, D.C.