At the base of Edgartown Lighthouse are 1,144 stones, each one engraved with the name of a child who died. For the past 25 years, loved ones have gathered on the beach for the Ceremony of Remembrance, a day to honor the memory of their children and care for the stones that bear their names.
This year’s ceremony took place on Saturday. Bereaved families brushed their children’s memorial stones clean and adorned them with decorations, while speakers shared reflections on loss. The annual ceremony is hosted by the Martha’s Vineyard Museum and was founded by Rick Harrington, whose child died in an automobile accident in 2001.
Museum executive director Heather Seger said that the job of a museum and of a memorial are the same: to care for memory.
“We know that this is a place where you never imagined yourself needing to be, and I see so many faces of folks who are here year after year to welcome those of you who are new and let you know that you’re not alone,” Ms. Seger said.
“We hope that this will become a place that brings you some comfort, knowing that this memorial will stand in perpetuity,” she added.
Mr. Harrington expressed how much it means to him that families come to the lighthouse year after year. He called historian and former museum director Matthew Stackpole to the stage, becoming emotional as he and Mr. Stackpole embraced.
“Matthew reminded me earlier [the memorial] literally holds this lighthouse up at this point,” Mr. Harrington said.
Jody Cukier addressed the crowd from the lighthouse steps. In 2010, Ms. Cukier’s daughter, Julia Cukier Siegler, died in a hit-and-run crash in Los Angeles, Calif. while she was boarding her school bus. She read a poem and shared artwork exploring the pain of grieving for a child.
Ms. Cukier had visited the Island a few times with Julia. After the death of her daughter, Ms. Cukier’s friends from Vineyard Haven let her stay with them for a while.
She told the Gazette that the Island has been conducive to processing her grief and continuing to stay connected to her daughter.
“This is not an easy place to get to. If you want to come here, you are committed,” Ms. Cukier said of the Vineyard. “That commitment and that labor is a nice metaphor for how you can continue a relationship with [a person] who you’ve lost.”
The Island has been a beacon for many in the same position.
Sandy and Richard Sowers, who recently lost their granddaughter, Maia Alivia Catalina, were visiting the Island for the first time for this year’s memorial. A stone for Maia now sits at the base of the lighthouse.
“We’re here representing [Maia’s parents], and representing us too,” Mr. Sowers said.
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