Aristophanes, the Athenian comic playwright, must have been a funny guy, since he is still remembered for the 40 plays that he produced in his lifetime. It is not his plays that amuse me, but his cynical wit when observing the natural world. 

It was Aristophanes who stated that “you cannot teach a crab to walk straight.”   

Beaches around Vineyard Haven harbor are open again as of noon Tuesday, assistant health inspector Maura Valley confirmed, after results from water samples taken yesterday cleared the water as safe for swimming.

The beaches from Owen Park to Ralph Packer’s dock had been closed since Saturday morning due to concerns about fecal coliform bacteria.

Pat Tillman taught his comrade in arms Russell Baer a couple of important things.

In life, Mr. Tillman, the football star who walked away from a multimillion dollar career with the NFL to go and fight for America, taught Mr. Baer not to prejudge people.

When he heard the star player was joining his unit, the second platoon, Alpha company of the second 75th Ranger regiment, for the invasion of Iraq, Mr. Baer expected him to be “some jock meathead” with a huge ego.

Before the government can tap the phone or read the e-mails of an American suspected of having terrorist links, it must get the approval of a federal judge. But if they target the same person for death, no such review pertains.

And that deeply concerns Vicki Divoll, a former CIA officer and Senate Intelligence Committee lawyer, who now teaches U.S. government and the Constitution at the U.S. Naval Academy, and who will speak on the subject of targeted killings of Americans by the Obama Administration, tomorrow at the Chilmark Public Library.

Worried Vineyard lobstermen are breathing a little easier this week following a meeting held last week with fisheries regulators in Rhode Island, where a proposed five-year moratorium on lobster fishing was placed on the shelf — at least for now.

Vineyard Haven beaches from Owen Park to Ralph Packer’s gas station remained closed Monday after electrical storm damage overnight on Friday caused a pump problem that allowed sewage to seep into storm drains which empty into the harbor between the Steamship Authority and the Black Dog Tavern.

Lightning struck the Martha’s Vineyard Airport during a series of thunderstorms that swept the Island over the weekend, knocking out the Islandwide emergency communications center computer server that operates in the main tower. The Dukes County Sheriff said yesterday damage and lost equipment were estimated at $100,000.

The worst-kept secret of the summer is out: the first family will return to Martha’s Vineyard to vacation at the end of August.

The White House confirmed on Friday what Islanders in the know have been whispering for weeks now: a year after their much-hyped and ultimately anticlimactic first presidential visit, the Obamas will return to the Vineyard on August 19 for a 10-day vacation. The current plan calls for the Obamas to leave the Island on August 29.

Ashrita Furman, the man with the most records in the Guinness Book of Records, will try to add to his list of more than 100 current records by attempting a grape-catching record this Wednesday on the Vineyard.

Pulitzer Prize winners Anthony Lewis and Geraldine Brooks; actor, writer and director Harold Ramis; and radio personalities Paula Lyons and Tony Kahn, along with other prominent authors, attorneys, actors and activists, will gather at the Chilmark Community Center on Thursday, July 29, for An Evening Without: Giving Voice to the Excluded.