HOLLY NADLER

508-274-2329

(hollynadler@gmail.com)

What would Christmas look like if men took charge of putting it together? Can you (“you” being the reader whom I’m imagining as female), conceive of yourself coming down the stairs on a mid-week, mid-December morning, only to discover that the man in your life has just strung lights around all the living room windows — those cool lights with strands — and he’s opened up the box of family ornaments which he curates every year before wrapping in tissue paper? These he’s attaching to the tree he brought home last night from the parking lot outside Jim’s Package Store as all the while the scent of nutmeg, allspice, and powdered sugar wafts in the air as ebble-skebble crackles on the grill (made from his Danish grandmother’s recipe). And here, honey . . . a tray in his hand holds two champagne flutes of eggnog and a touch of Frangelico; sure it’s a ways from Christmas Day when eggnog loses its hint of deadly decadence, but where’s the harm in sipping slowly as you stare in one another’s eyes remembering that Christmas past when he dressed up in a Santa hat and well, never mind . . .

Could this ever happen, this scene of a husband preparing holiday treats? It could happen!

We lads and lasses have come a long way to create equality in all our walks of life, it’s just that we never sorted out the Christmas deal where all the work falls on women’s shoulders. I once heard, and this may be an urban legend, that Valerie Solanas — remember that most militant of feminists in the early 1970s? — Valerie was planning a second Manifesto that would have included an item about men being responsible for buying cute angel decorations, hanging tinsel, and making chocolate chip cookies (it would be allowable to follow the simple directions on the bags of chocolate chips). Unfortunately Ms. Solanas, before she could pen this crucial second document, went out and shot Andy Warhol (I believe he was in the midst of baking cookies at the time), thus putting an end to her ever again being taken seriously in the manifesto-writing business.

Is the above story sufficiently cheery for the holiday season? If not, let me add the warmest best wishes for this red and green time of year. May you spend some special moments — even if it’s only by Twitter — with your best loved ones, may the fragrance of evergreens assail your nostrils with uncanny regularity, may you enjoy the fairy tale lights our highway guys drape over our downtown trees, may every last resolution you’ve entertained for the coming year lift you up and guide you, may your heart open wide whenever you greet a friend or acquaintance or even an outright stranger on these glowing gorgeous streets of ours, and may all souls, if even for one moment suspended in a silver breath of winter, be merry.

Never fear that the coming months will hold no interest for you. You can enroll in classes at the Adult and Community Education of Martha’s Vineyard offered at the high school. For an impressive array of courses, e-mail lynnditchfield@gmail.com for the catalogue.

Also, if you missed the lunar eclipse on Tuesday, Dec. 21 (the first to occur on the winter solstice in 372 years!) you can find out more about how this has already affected you and what your future holds by logging onto stargaiablogspot.com.