BETTYE FOSTER BAKER
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“Look not from the mind, but from the soul. For the Life that is coming is already before us, waiting to open up the world. Just look more closely. Find the eyes to see.” This passage from the First Insight of The Celestine Prophecy, a novel by James Redfield and later a film, about an ancient Peruvian manuscript containsnine Insights to help one achieve a fulfilling life.
A grandchild is born. “We got our boy,” the e-mail said, burning with the fire of a great blessing. “Mark Allen Couch II was born at 3:45 this morning, July 28, 2011.” The proud parents, “Pastor Mark and Ivy Redd Couch [of Atlanta, Ga.] are doing well.”
When I received this e-mail from Bostonians and longtime Island residents Judge Edward Russell Redd and his wife, recently retired anesthesiologist Dr. Shirley A. Redd, it exuded an unbridled joyfulness many of us have experienced as new grandparents. Within their message I sensed the excitement of this new life, the fulfillment of faith and prayer, the gratitude at becoming a grandparent, of coming full circle in our quest for immortality.
What it means to become one with a new life as a first-time grandparent is something many share, deeply satisfying, fulfilling and often hard to put into words. Shirley Redd described it best: “I’ve fallen in love again,” she said. And with each addition she will fall in love over and over again.
As Islander Carol Simpson, former ABC anchor, puts it, “It’s the best job in the world!” Recently her husband, Jim, seized his Blackberry when the topic came up and flashed an image of the beautiful Savannah in her yellow ruffled dress and gigantic black sun glasses. Within seconds, Carol fished a photo from her purse of all three grandchildren, Savannah, Jackson and James Hurd, in elegant dress and pose, beaming her beautiful smile across the room. The three children in the photo are also the grandchildren of longtime summer residents Jean and Joseph Hurd.
There is a sense that no matter what we accomplish in life, it is the grandchildren that make it better. We feel their energy in hundreds of photographs shared through electronic devices, in brag-books passed among friends, in photos on the walls of our cottages; to think these wonderful people have come to us and we had no right to expect they would change our lives so dramatically. It is at once exquisite in the most profound sense of the word. Redfield’s eighth insight suggests that, “By seeing the beauty in every face, we lift others into their wisest self, and increase the chances of hearing a synchronistic message.”
Julianne, Andrew and Wesley Walker, my own grands, flew in early in this week and Julianne wasn’t on the Island 24 hours before winning first place and blue ribbon in the Junior All-Island Art Show at the Tabernacle in the 8 to 9-year-old competition. She called to tell me on the cell phone. Her younger brother, one of the 6-year-old twins, won third place in his age category. The contagion of their boundless energy, smarts and sheer delightfulness is wonderful. Their exuberance for all things moving, including bikes, tennis and soccer balls, is exhausting but also refreshing. When they arrive they first want to know that nothing has changed since here the last time. “I want to see my room to see if it’s the same,” Julianne says, racing upstairs. “I want to clean up after breakfast,” one of the twins says, heading for the vacuum. It’s hard to believe a six-year-old likes washing dishes and running the vacuum. “I’m writing a story,” the other six-year-old says, looking for use of my computer. “On second thought, I want to skip rocks in the sea,” he tells his parents, Janet and Mike Walker.” There is just no way to fully describe how incredible are all of our grandkids.
When Ezola Adams told me this week her grands were coming, I knew this would be worth writing about. Ezola and Earl have four college-aged grandchildren. When they were younger, Ezola had a very practical philosophy of discipline. The parents weren’t allowed to come with the grands. She wanted them all to herself and her husband, Earl. “That way,” she told me years ago, “There is no conflict in my style of parenting with their parents’.” Three of the grands are soon to graduate from college; one, Elyse Adams, is a freshman at the Air Force Academy and will not be on the Island this summer. Their daughter, Vicki Jordon, and her husband, Barry Adams, have two children, Jordan Adams and Brody Adams, who is in high school. Her son, physician Dr. Earl Adams 3rd, is married to Susan Smith, and the two grands are Earl Adams 4th and Ellington Adams. Ezola may need to write her own Battle Hymn of the Tiger Grandmother!
Iona Pressley’s grands have been here since July 16. Peyton Pressley is 9, and her brother, Jared Pressley, is 7. Peyton, an emerging thespian, has been at IMP Camp, an improvisational acting camp. She is learning and rehearsing for a real play. Jared is loving the Boys’ and Girls’ Club camp. Iona’s son, Todd Pressley, summered on the Island from the age of six and insists that his children have the same experience as he. Iona delights in taking them to camp, the library and to Back Door Donuts, which the Stone Bakery started many years ago when her son was a child. She shared a bit of history. The bakery began giving away donuts to children who would come to their backdoor following the aroma of those delicious morsels. “They love to go there,” Iona said. “Grandkids are a lot of work,” she said, “but it’s worth it.”
I spoke with artist Bettie Eubanks and the last of her seven grandchildren had left early in the week. She said though it’s always great fun, she and her husband, Richard, were exhausted and had to go to bed to get some rest. I didn’t have the heart to detain her longer. Sound familiar?
Dr. Dannetta Thornton-Owens’s younger grandchildren came in early July and her daughter, Dr. Verna A. Thornton of Peachtree, Ga., arrived this week along with her twin daughters, Denise Elizabeth Hinton and Dannette Ynez Hinton, both sophomores. Denise attends Louisiana State University and Dannetta, St. John’s University.
There is so much for grandchildren to do with grandparents and time moves quickly in summer. In all its wonder and majesty, there are gardens to be weeded, edible plants to be identified, beds to make, constellations in the night sky to identify, folk and camp songs to be sung, ropes to be jumped, kites to be sailed — all engaging tiny fingers and large minds waiting to be opened to the newness of the day. We can’t forget to listen to the song of birds in early morning and the whizz of hummingbirds for which we’ve waited so long to see extracting nectar from the trumpet vine, for we have the eyes to see. It is summer and the grands make it so totally grand. I’ve shared only a few Island grandchildren stories. I’d love to tell about yours who come to the Island. Send me your story.
Welcome to Drs. Donald and Deborah Reaves, new Island summer residents living in Vineyard Haven. Dr. Donald Reaves is chancellor of the Winston-Salem State University of North Carolina. We had a terrific conversation at the Thai restaurant and as always learned of mutual acquaintances.
U.S. congresswoman Barbara Lee (D-Calif.), of Oakland, will be honored with a luncheon on Saturday, August 20, 12:30 to 2:30 p.m. at the home of Cathy and Russ Ashton, 21 Shawmut avenue, Oak Bluffs, to benefit her 2012 reelection campaign. Donations are welcome, but there is no fee. RSVP to Elleni Almandrez by August 15 at 202-492-6622. On the evening of August 20, a fund-raising dinner will be held for Congresswoman Lee at the Beach Plum Inn Restaurant, 50 Plum Lane, Menemsha, with a $1,000 contribution per person. Make checks payable to Barbara Lee for Congress, 1736 Franklin street Suite 550, Oakland, CA 96414.
The Oak Bluffs Public Library delivers outstanding programs for children. Toddler Storytime, on Wednesdays at 10:30 a.m., is designed for ages one-and-a-half to three years old. Preschool storytime follows, on Wednesdays at 11:30 a.m., designed for ages three to five. Children read, sing, dance, play instruments and develop early literacy skills. On August 10, the theme is books by Oak Bluffs children’s author Kate Feiffer; on August 17, it’s Illumination Night; August 24, the Fair; August 31, dinosaurs.
Don’t miss the Martha’s Vineyard Camp Meeting Association (Tabernacle) Camp Ground Cottage Tour, a fascinating tour on Wednesday, August 10, 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. The tour provides an opportunity to view the interiors of six camp ground cottages as well as a fabulous cottage garden, the historic Trinity Methodist Church, and the Cottage Museum. The $25 price of admission includesrefreshments. Tickets can be purchased at the Tabernacle on the day of the event, though sales end promptly at 2p.m.
On Monday, August 8 at 7 p.m., the Tabernacle proudly presents, The Airborne Comedians. Dan Foley and Joel Harris may be riding their seven-foot unicycles or juggling balls, lawn chairs, flaming objects, hats or even a child; this is family entertainment at its best. Admission is free and all are welcome to join in the fun.
On Saturday, August 6, from 5 to 7 p.m. at Howes House in West Tisbury, Joseph Sebarenzi, author of God Sleeps in Rwanda, will speak on the topic, Forgiveness of the Unforgivable. Mr. Sebarenzi’s book is a memoir of his life in Rwanda, including his service as president of the Rwandan Parliament, before and during the genocidal slaughter of Tutsis by the Hutus. Now a professor at the School for International Training, he also works for the U.S. State Department for change in his native land.
At Union Chapel on Sunday, August 7, Dr. Robert Franklin, president of Morehouse College, Atlanta, Ga., will speak. The service is preceded by organ preludes by Garrett Brown at 9:40 a.m. Union Chapel is located at the foot of Kennebec and Circuit avenues in Oak Bluffs. It is nondenominational and welcomes all to participate.
At the Tabernacle’s Sunday 9:30 a.m. worship service on August 7, Rev. Father John Beck, of Harlem, N.Y., will preach. All are welcome.
Sunday’s 9 a.m. service at Trinity Episcopal Church in Oak Bluffs will enjoy Rev. Stephanie Spellers as the celebrant. She is the author of Radical Welcome: Embracing God, the Other and the Spirit of Transformation. Trinity Episcopal is located on Ocean avenue, across from the Steamship Authority terminal in Oak Bluffs.
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