Got ticks? Tell it to Dick Johnson. He’ll come right to your yard and commiserate with you about how bad it is. Then he will actually quantify your misery for you (count the ticks) and even tell you what you can do to keep your yard out of the Guinness Book of World Records as the yard with the most ticks ever. But even if you don’t see any ticks or signs of ticks, I’ll bet you that he can find at least a few around the edges of your lawn or paths.

 
Here is the press release, word for word: “The Martha’s Vineyard Tick-Borne Disease Initiative is conducting a study of yards and the factors that promote exposure to Lyme disease. Yards are visually inspected for known risk factors and sampled for the presence of ticks. Results will be provided to homeowners with recommendations for reducing risk, if needed. The assessments are confidential and only aggregate data are shared publicly. We are seeking 30-50 yards for assessment in the next few weeks. There is no cost to the homeowner and you do not have to be present for our assessments.”
 
“If you would like to participate in this study, please reply to Dick Johnson rwilcoxjohnson@yahoo.com or 508-693-1893) with your name, address and phone number and any specific instructions for entering your property. Questions may be directed to Dick Johnson, Sam Telford sam.telford@tufts.edu or Matt Poole mpoole@edgartown-ma.us. We thank you for your assistance with this project.”
 
Notice that the assessments are confidential. Dick has sworn on a stack of Peterson North American Insect Guides that he won’t tell a single soul what he saw hanging on your clothes line or if you have some of those orange highway cones marked Edg Police Dept behind your garage.
 
But seriously, prevention is the key to avoiding tick-borne diseases. Ask anyone who has had or continues to suffer from the effects of the many and varied tick diseases about how much effort they will go to in avoiding further exposure. Often the answer is very simple.
 
One day, about 15 years ago I was up in Gay Head on a property just purchased by the Land Bank. My exceedingly forgiving wife and I walked along a path to the edge of the cliffs high above the old steamboat landing. There was a bench in a small clearing at the top. We sat down to admire the view of Cuttyhunk. Sally looked down at her pants and commented that we must have gotten spattered by mud somewhere on the path. But, (and some of you may be way ahead of me on this), it wasn’t spattered mud at all. Rather it was hundreds (no lie) of ticks, big and little, fast and slow, clinging to our pants.
 
We shrieked in horror, hopped up onto the bench and picked off the ticks, one by one, and dropped them on the ground.
 
I had learned from my Vineyard Land Surveying days that ticks congregate along trails because of deer and rabbit traffic. Whenever our surveying field crew had to cross a field or tramp through the woods, we stayed off of the obvious trails. Even keeping five feet over from the beaten paths helped us to get through the day almost tick-free.
 
So after getting rid of all of our eight-legged, new-found friends, Sally and I discussed how we would get back to the open road without going through this all over again. I said, “Follow me and I’ll bet we don’t get a single tick!” Sally, having complete and unquestioning faith in my cleverness responded, “How much you wanna bet?” We always bet a million bucks. So the bet was on.
 
I leapt off of the bench as far as I could into the waist-high puckerbrush. This did not in any way increase Sally’s faith in me. Actually I thought I detected that she was doing math in her head, figuring out many trips to the thrift shop she would get out of her winnings. I encouraged her to take a flying leap and she landed next to me. We waded through the brush, staying a couple of arms’ lengths from the path and broke out onto the road with a few scratches but with not one single tick. The reason is quite simple. The animals take the path of least resistance and that’s where the ticks wait.
 
I’ve since made other bets with Sally and now owe her big time.
 
In 1986, Canadian paper money featured portraits of former prime ministers and the Queen. Those folks are considered worthy of note up north. On the back of these notes is a series of bird etchings.
 
 You can see them by googling “1986 series birds of Canada”. It’s obvious that these birds are also considered worthy of note up north. All but one of the birds depicted are found on the Vineyard. On the back of the five dollar bill is an etching of a belted kingfisher, a very animated and charismatic bird.
Even if you aren’t a bird watcher you will find these critters intriguing. They dive for fish, nest in burrows in cliffs and have an easy to identify “rattle” call. I think their behavior borders on comical. According to Luanne Johnson, belted kingfishers as well as swallows may nest in burrows in the sandy cliffs and banks along North Neck and Katama Bay. Luanne and Liz Baldwin are mapping nesting sites around the Vineyard. You can read about the project and their nonprofit organization on their fabulous Web site biodiversityworksmv.org” Please e-mail them or call 508-685-2578 if you have kingfishers or swallows nesting on your property or if you want to help Luanne and Liz with their mapping effort.
 
Lily Knight Morris is turning 30 next week and she doesn’t appear the least bit dismayed at the prospect. She invites everyone to her Celebrate Summer Dance Party at the Chappy Community Center tomorrow, June 23 from 7 to 11:30 p.m. Music will be served up by DJ Di. I’ve known Lily since she was born and I can tell you that she continues to gather momentum. Put off any plans you already had for Saturday night. Even if you got invited to Lady Gaga’s housewarming party, this is going to be better. See you there!
 
Almost forgot! Woody and Cathy got parking tickets at the ferry point a couple of days ago. Heads up, it’s summer. Read those parking signs!