I was going to play some April Fool’s jokes on you in advance but, alas, I have been bested by the internet and Mother Nature. The three biggest jokes played on us, the unsuspecting public, were these: via the internet, the dress is gold and white. Yes, it is. The internet had you going nuts with that for at least a couple of days, right? Maybe a week if you had been drinking or smoking your medical marijuana. Ha! Gold and white, case closed. The other great put-on by the internet was the information presented to me in the news stories one day. It said if you go without wearing makeup at least one day a week you will begin to look younger. Ha! If that were true I should look like I am about four years old. The third and final joke played on us so far this year was by Mother Nature. And, yes, I am referring to last Friday, the first day of spring.

I put away my snow shovel four days ago. You know what that means. Okay, but when it snows again you cannot only blame me, you must equally blame all the others who put away their snow shovels.

Oh, for a writer’s life! We are still looking for a year-round rental or donation rental of an Island house to give a space to the writers who are involved with Renaissance House. Contact me or Abby McGrath at RenaissanceHse@aol.com.

Daybreak Club, a group hosted by our Martha’s Vineyard Community Services, is presenting classical pianist Charles Whitehead at the Old Whaling Church Saturday afternoon at 4 p.m. Grown-ups get in for $15, students and seniors are admitted for $10. All proceeds will benefit the Daybreak Club. Call 508-696-7563 for more information.

See host Jamie Alley on Monday at 7:30 p.m. at the Martha’s Vineyard Playhouse. Jamie will be on the Patricia Neal Stage presenting the movie Hairspray from 1988. Admission is $5 cash at the door. I have seen the movie and I have seen the play. It is a fascinating time capsule. You won’t regret it.

Our library had to cancel the mini book sale last Saturday. Next sale will have even more titles. Betty Burton wants to remind you to register for the Great Discussions Group, a program that helps you understand the foreign policy decision-making process. You may register at the library or online. She also confirmed your invitation for next Wednesday night, April 1, at 7 p.m. Esteemed poets Rose Styron, Lee McCormack and Arnie Reisman will read for the start up of National Poetry Month. Remember, do not get caught without a poem in your pocket in April.

June Manning wants to invite you all to participate as a chef or taster in the Kale Soup Throwdown, which will be held at the P.A. Club on Sunday, April, 19. Admission to enter is $10 and the deadline is Friday, April 10. You must make four gallons to enter, bring your own ladle and test cups. Call Debby Lobb Athearn for more information, 508-693-9627. Will I see you there? Hope so.

Confidential to Lyn K: Nonna is reading Erik Larsen’s new book, Dead Wake, about the Lusitania. What Mom and I love about Larsen’s work is it is written like a novel, yet always true. I am reading Atul Gawande, one of the favorite physician/authors, Being Mortal.

I must stop right now. My mother’s tenants are cooking something that smells enchantingly wonderful and I must rush over there and have some before Nicole and Altin eat it all.

The birthday bandwagon pulls along Mary Campos and Mike Hebert on March 28. March 29 is shared by Deb Stuart and Sandra Aparecida Gomes. March 30 is a party for Marco Daniels, Michael Diamond, Abigail Chappell, Andrew Nelson and Eric Clapton. March 31 belongs to Laura Alexander and Rachel Pires. April 1 is no joke for George Santos, Betsy Buck, Robin Rebello Meader and Enoia Preia Dos Rei. And on April 2, Bob Kalayan, Bo Andrews, Kathy Daly and Kate Desrosiers take the cake. Many happy returns.

Send your Vineyard Haven news to: iklean@yahoo.com.