Nicoleta Trandafir and Bogdan Buftea placed flowers and stones around a stone engraved with the names of their twin daughters at the base of the Edgartown Lighthouse.
Arianna and Bianca Buftea died after a premature birth last year.
On Saturday they were remembered as a part of the Children’s Memorial at the annual Ceremony of Remembrance.
“It means a lot to just even come here,” Ms. Trandafir said.
The Children’s Memorial was created in 2001, with 120 names of children engraved on stones at the base of the Edgartown Lighthouse. Today there are 733 names, with 41 added this year.
Families left twine-wrapped oyster shells, flowers, rocks, and mini pumpkins on the stones. They hugged and took pictures. A young girl in a bright pink parka searched for slipper shells in the sand, singing quietly to herself.
Ms. Trandafir said the memorial helps to show that losing a child should not be a shameful experience.
“I feel like it’s tough to talk about,” she said. “When we were going through losing our daughters, it was the first time we heard from others about their own loss.”
Hearing other stories of loss can help some cope, which is why for the second year, Ms. Trandafir is organizing a pregnancy and unfant loss walk on Oct. 14.
Though usually held at the base of the lighthouse, the crowd at the 16th annual Ceremony of Remembrance gathered indoors due to wind and the threat of rain as the remnants of a tropical storm moved off the Vineyard. The ceremony took place in the Menemsha Room at the Harbor View Hotel. The event is sponsored by the Martha’s Vineyard Museum, which also cares for the lighthouse.
Andy Herr sang I’ll Fly Away, with a few voices in the crowd joining in. Allison Walker from the Children’s Memorial Committee thanked everyone for attending, recognizing the difficulties of getting to the Island in the past few days.
“I’ve gotten calls this week from people who stayed days in the Woods Hole terminal trying to get here,” she said. She quoted Rick Harrington, who founded the memorial for his son Ricky who died in an automobile accident as a teenager. Mr. Harrington always left the porch light on for his son to return to.
“In his words, Edgartown Lighthouse is one more porch light he could leave on for his son,” Ms. Walker said.
Museum executive director Phil Wallis also thanked Mr. Harrington. “It is your loss that catapulted us all into this service every year,” he said.
Mr. Harrington attended the ceremony and spoke briefly. “It’s kind of what keeps me going . . . another year has gone by, but this is a great way to celebrate our kids’ lives,” he said.
After the ceremony, many walked down to the lighthouse.
Ms. Trandafir said Mr. Harrington’s feelings about leaving a light on for his son resonated with her.
“The light’s always on for them,” she said. “That gives me a little peace.”
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