MARGARET KNIGHT

508-627-8894

(margaret02539@yahoo.com)

Work continues on the NStar project installing conduits under the harbor for a new electric cable to Chappaquiddick. Last week sections of plastic pipe were welded together to make four long conduits, and were lying ready by the side of the road up from the Point.

At the beginning of this week the original nine-inch bore hole under the harbor was to be enlarged to twenty-four inches to prepare for installation of the conduits. During the process, the drill point was inadvertently turned the wrong way so the tunneling headed away from the harbor. Everyone was surprised when the drill point came up through the asphalt in the parking lot of the visitors center.

Hoping to make the best of it (and get someone to pay him for his work), Bay State Piping’s David Scott went to the selectmen with a proposal. He suggested enlarging the tunnel even more, and putting in a subway train between the visitors center and the harbor. The subway could potentially include stops at Upper Main street and the Triangle which, as Mr. Scott pointed out, would lessen vehicle congestion in the downtown area. The town fathers and mother are considering the proposal.

Another tense moment came later in the week after the original bore hole had finally been enlarged. The conduits were being pulled through the hole when Mr. Scott realized the Chappy ends had not been secured, and the conduits had been pulled all the way through and out on the Edgartown side. “They seemed kind of long,” Mr. Scott said, “but I just thought we measured wrong.”

Meanwhile, NStar, in a flare-up of civic-mindedness, generously offered use of the conduits to other utilities like Verizon and Comcast. Comcast, with like-minded community spirit and sense of corporate responsibility, vows to hook up every house on Chappaquiddick no matter how far up some inaccessible, overgrown, potholed private road it is located. Comcast promises hookups to all houses by the end of the century.

WikiLeaks has finally come out with the facts about the long absence of the On Time II from Chappy. We all thought it was in Vineyard Haven being renovated, but evidently the work tent at Ralph Packer’s has been empty for the past two months while the II was off doing reconnaissance work for the CIA. The CIA is looking for concrete evidence of a mysterious offshore terrorist facility said to be planting bombs on the beaches of Chappaquiddick. The bomb squad has been seen coming and going on the ferry for the past couple of months, and rumor has it that they’ve removed numerous bombs. As of yet, no group has claimed responsibility, and no list of demands has been received.

This winter Peter Wells found that one boat worked perfectly well for transporting us to and fro, so he’s entered negotiations with Ralph Packer to sell him the On Time II. Ralph would like to keep the II in Vineyard Haven after its stint in surveillance. He’d take advantage of the snack bar and dance floor installed by Eric earlier in the winter — as well as the men’s, women’s, and handicap bathrooms — and turn the ferry into a Caribbean-themed bar and restaurant, as soon as he can get a beer and wine license. With only one boat to maintain, Peter plans to spend more time in his hot tub. Eric hopes to get work welding on the new subway tracks.

Rob Kagan sends monthly updates to all his Chappy customers, and he generously agreed to share these: “As you know, Lady Gaga, a young pop star, is building a house on Chappy. In an effort to create goodwill with the community due to the unrest we may experience (paparazzi), she is scheduled to perform a concert at the community center in September for the people of Chappy.

Skip Bettencourt and Nancy Hugger walk the beach out at Wasque weekly, documenting the movement of the sand and looking at all the interesting objects that wash ashore. Last week they found four gold-capped teeth and a ship’s bell that dates back to a pirate ship that sank in 1727.

The movement of the sand at the breach still continues to change daily. Currently, the west end of the breach resembles a baseball bat, and there is a round island right off the tip of the land. The east end of the breach now actually resembles a baseball mitt. Spring is here — Go Red Sox!

In more serious news, the Chappy Community Center’s first potluck is on April 6 and is hosted by Ruth Welch and Hatsy Potter. Appetizers start at 6 p.m. and dinner at 6:30 p.m. Felicia Cheney will attend with plans for the new library and a willingness to answer questions about it. All are welcome. Although no formal presentation will be given, come by 7:30 p.m. if you would like to see library plans.