More than 150 people turned out on a sunny, blustery day last Sunday for a simple ceremony to remember Asa French, who died last month at the age of 30.
Friends and family members, including Asa’s parents and stepparents, gathered on the patio at Vineyard House, the Island’s sober living community. Mr. French, an accomplished stonemason like his father Lew French, helped build the patio.
Dozens of pictures from Asa’s boyhood were displayed on a table in a corner near a striking decorative stone wall.
He was remembered as a kind, gentle young man who had a ridiculous nickname for everybody, was attached to pets, and loved to play golf.
People also spoke of their heartbreak and frustration with the addiction that took much of that away. When speaking about the first part of Asa’s life, family members had joy in their voices and smiles on their faces. The joy was replaced by pain and tears when the words came about the second part of a young life cut short.
“I remember one summer day when Asa and his buddies got the brilliant idea to golf all the Island courses, Farm Neck, Mink Meadows, and Edgartown in one day,” said Patty French, his mother. “Asa came home tired and happy. I’m sure many of you have heard Asa’s golf stories, or had to watch more golf on TV than anyone would think humanly possible.” She continued: “Then addiction came into our lives. Addiction is not kind, or gentle, or funny. Addiction masks the true essence of your soul. Asa was not always kind and gentle as an adult. It was hard to be around him.”
Asa’s stepfather Mark Jenkins, former longtime president of Vineyard House, spoke about the bond between Asa and his brother Truman.
“One of the things I envy about Asa was his relationship to his brother,” Mr. Jenkins said. “So close, for so long, you can see some of those pictures where Asa would be carrying Truman around like a large stuffed toy. One of the difficult things is drugs takes that stuff away. There were many years where we saw glimmers of the old Asa, and even until the very end, the old Asa was there, often more difficult than not to see, but he was still there. One of the things we’re grateful for is he no longer has to suffer. He suffered, he struggled, and it was difficult to see. You’re looking for answers. There are some questions that have no answers.”
A new stone was laid just off the patio for the memorial. It is inscribed simply: “In loving memory. Asa French.”
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