Joseph Thomas Didato, a former Vineyard resident who served the Island’s high school students as their guidance counselor, died on August 19.
For the better part of three decades, one phrase well-known to Martha’s Vineyard residents guided Joe Didato: “gotta catch the boat.” Whether it was running errands to the mainland or speeding back through Falmouth and Woods Hole to secure a good spot in the standby lane, the phrase became a mantra for Joe’s family and his life.
Joe’s father arrived at Ellis Island on a boat from Italy in 1910 and raised a first-generation family in Middletown, Conn. From the moment of Joe’s birth in 1937, an emphasis in education would be a priority in his life. A high school cross country star from Woodrow Wilson High School, he went on to earn degrees from the Teachers College of Connecticut, the University of Connecticut, and Indiana University.
He began a long teaching career in 1959, first in Newburgh, N.Y. and then Yorktown Heights, N.Y., followed by his first guidance counselor post in Westport, Conn.
He met his wife and love of his life, Joan, while in college. Shortly after, they started a family that gave him three sons. During these years, he also acquired various fishing boats, which often spent more time and money on land than on the sea.
In 1972, a job ad posted in The New York Times seeking a high school guidance counselor for the Martha’s Vineyard Regional High School caught his eye and changed the course for both his career and family. He took the job, grabbed the family and caught the boat to the Vineyard.
From 1972 through 1996, Joe endeavored to give several generations and thousands of MVRHS students the opportunity to use higher education to expand one’s world. Some students caught the boat and set out on their own paths; others went away to universities and advanced degrees but came back with the knowledge of the world beyond the boundaries of the Island.
While his sons spent summers scraping barnacles off various family boats that sat in the driveway, Joe spent many of his summer hours making custom fishing poles. Under the name Vineyard Stik, he set up a rather productive business designing hand-crafted fishing gear. He continued making rods well into his retirement, and his basement workshop became a familiar place for fishermen to meet and tell tall tales.
One day, when a dot-commer walked up to Joe and Joan’s house and offered a surprising sum for it, they took the offer, caught the boat off the Island and retired to Cape Cod. Truth be told, they did not miss having to catch a boat to run simple errands or go places. But go places, Joe did: cruises down the Rhine River through Switzerland, another trip to Bermuda, overseas journeys to Italy and a Band of Brothers pilgrimage with his sons throughout Europe.
In retirement he continued to be an educator, serving as an instructor with the Academy of Lifelong Learning. But he spent much of his remaining life being a gregarious and lovable Grandpa: showering his granddaughters and grandson with affection; playing in the backyard, catching crabs, clamming and fishing, with interludes of hilarious humor and an extraordinary mind for trivia.
Joe is survived by his wife of 60-plus years, Joan Didato, and their sons Dean Didato of Memphis, Tenn., Barry Didato of Scottsdale, Ariz. and Thom Didato of Richmond, Va. All of them have imparted the “gotta catch the boat” mantra to their respective spouses Kelly, Becky and Lee Ann, and Joe’s grandchildren Jackie, Caitrin, Fiona, Sophia and Cole.
Joe Didato has caught a new boat to his next adventure. He will be standing by the snack bar out on deck enjoying the universe.
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