Pam (Moo) Reese died peacefully and surrounded by family in Portola Valley, Calif. on Jan. 18. She was 80 years young.
She is survived by her husband, Jack (Bear) Reese; her children, son Corby Reese and his spouse Lexi, daugher Eliza and her spouse Matt Fortenbaugh, son Davey Reese and his spouse Rachel and their families, including six grandchildren; her brother, Towny Gray and his wife Lynn; her sister, Phyllis Heaton; and many nieces and nephews.
She was predeceased by her sister, Alice Standteiner.
She was vibrant in personality and her approach to life. Her favorite color was bright red and she could often be found wearing every variety of Patagonia in that color as she skied, biked, hiked and played golf, tennis and pickleball. She loved sharing adventures in emoji-filled missives and frequently gathered people for outdoor experiences and meals.
Pam had a few life lessons that she lived by and impressed on those around her. Among them were to be kind and inclusive or, in her words “don’t be cliquey.” She always greeted people with enthusiastic, genuine happiness to see them.
Other lessons included, get out and make things happen, particularly in nature; don’t “be a bump on a log” or wait to be asked; being on top of the mountain in life isn’t always the be all and end all. If you look around, it’s pretty dry and barren up there. However, it’s when you’re in the valleys of life where it’s green and lush that you grow the most as a person.
She encouraged people to show up for the people you love, family and friends alike. Moo rarely missed a game or an event featuring her kids or grandkids.
She said to listen, share and love without judgment. Moo listened and shared everything — good and bad — and instilled that in all who had the privilege to know her.
Pamela Audrey Gray Reese was born Feb. 2, 1943 to Austen and Beatrice Gray. She was raised on Long Island, N.Y. She attended Greenvale School, the Madeira School and Bradford Junior College.
After college, she worked at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in the American Wing. She was a lifelong volunteer as an ever-present team or classroom mom and grandmom and as a guide at the Bronx Zoo. Her favorite work was that of running the snowshoe competition over many years for the Special Olympics of New Hampshire and Vermont, where she happily showed up in below-zero temperatures.
She was also a lifelong learner, taking classes at Dartmouth with Jack and participating in a United Nations study group.
In 1969 she married Jack Reese. Together they had three children whom they raised in New Canaan, Conn. and West Chop on Martha’s Vineyard. In 2003, Pam and Jack moved to Quechee, Vt., where they were active in the Green Mountain Club. In 2018 they moved to California, very near their sons, and loved being part of The Sequoias living community where they quickly became leading fixtures, helping to organize hikes, croquet, dinners and more.
Pam has been a central figure in the community she adored most of all - West Chop - where she spent every summer for the last 54 years. With her movie star smile, she always made sure everyone felt welcome. She loved every West Chop Sunday Service and was always seated in the front row, swimming off the piers, and porch dinners surrounded by those she loved.
She lives on in the love she so carefully stitched among her large, extended tribe of family and friends. As her granddaughter said, “there will always be a room with red and cows in my heart, this room is dedicated to you.” Moo lives on every time people choose to be kind, inclusive, stewards of nature and unconditionally supportive.
A memorial service is planned for early July in West Chop. More details will follow.
Memorial contributions may be sent to The Nature Conservancy, attn: Treasury, 4245 North Fairfax Drive, Suite 100, Arlington, VA 22209.
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