John Milnor Wilbur 3rd, known as Jay his entire life, died on Dec. 22. He was 72.

Jay was born in Newton on Feb. 27. Boats and the Atlantic Ocean were a focus of his life from a very early age either in Massachusetts, Rhode Island, South Carolina or the Jersey Shore. He attended Beverly High School and the University of Maine at Portland Gorham.

After college, he spent over a decade in the Caribbean captaining boats of all sizes. Watching Jay dock a 50-foot sailboat in a stiff wind was a beautiful event to watch even at a young age. He returned to New England and settled on Martha’s Vineyard where he was selected for the sought-after job of harbor master of Vineyard Haven. Soon after, he met and married Beth Saint Amour. The next 20 years were busy, happy times filled with golden retrievers, friends and family.

Tragically Jay lost Beth in early 2020. Although the entire world struggled through the next few years, Jay endured. He was able to purchase a lovely piece of property on Hines Point where he enjoyed a beautiful view of Lagoon Pond. Soon after, he met the lovely Susan Garrett of Oak Bluffs. Together the next three years were some of the most relaxed and enjoyable in his life.

He never had any children but he loved his large family with many siblings, nieces, nephews, in-laws and cousins. Friends were also important in his life.

In addition to Beth, Jay’s parents and brother Brent preceded him in death. His parents were Jane and John Wilbur of Beverly and Vineyard Haven. His siblings are Cindy Wilbur Thomas (John) of Grand Junction, Colo.; Dean Gordon Wilbur (Cricket) of Ipswich; Ann Wilbur King (Stephen) of Aptos, Calif., and Heyward Brent Wilbur.

Brent and Lesley Wilbur had one son, Nicholas Brent Wilbur (Nick) who with his wife Becca and children Finley Jane and Oscar Brent Wilbur live year-round on the Vineyard and were very important in Jay’s life. Other nieces and nephews include Kelly and Sam Wilbur of Massachusetts, and Darst, Caroline and Emily of California.

Grace Episcopal Church in Vineyard Haven was a place of solace and joy to Jay and to many of the Wilbur family. Contributions in memory of his life may be made there at PO Box 1197, Vineyard Haven, MA 02568. Two services will be held: one on Saturday, Jan. 11 at 11 a.m. at Grace Episcopal Church Vineyard Haven and one in early summer. All are welcome.