If I had covered all bets on whether the Tisbury liquor question would wind up in a flat-footed tie, the drinks would certainly be on me. The rare outcome of a 690 to 690 pro and con vote is such as to drive one to drink, unless of course one resides in Tisbury where the question is still moot.
There have been other remarkable tie votes in the past. Some years back at the Oscars the best actress award was such. To this day although both awardees have long slipped from leading lady to character actress to the “is she still with us” category, they and/or their press agents are still clamoring for a recount.
It could be that the Tisbury citizenry will find itself in the very same condition. In fact at this date there are charges and counter charges being passed around like martinis at a free bar function. One group of voters are demanding another bite of the olive, claiming that when casting this most important vote they were too inebriated to behave responsibly. A second contingent is weighing in stating that at the critical moment they were still singing 99 Bottles of Beer, and consequently too deeply committed to the muse to cast their vote.
The back and forth and pro and con will undoubtedly endure and whatever the outcome, there will be attitudes and actions that will echo for years. Already a group of concerned citizens are planning to run Carrie Nation for selectman/woman/person . . . . depending on how deeply your commitment to politically correct runs. Some who favor a moistening of the community seem to have reached a rather desperate point in their campaign for a more lenient lifestyle; it is difficult to quantify how many converts they will reel in with the slogan: Dean Martin Never Killed Your Cat.
The arena of conflicting ideology may not be settled without leaving in its wake some very bruised feelings, but let us hope that it all goes smoothly like a grand single malt scotch. To whoever emerges victorious we say Skoal, L’Chaim, Prosit, A Votre Sante, Slante . . . or not!
Allan Manings, after 40 years of writing and producing for television and films, has retired to Edgartown and California. His column appears regularly in the Gazette.