By LYNNE IRONS

I love living on the Vineyard. What with all the depressing news in the world, we have a fairly idyllic lifestyle. There is a bustle of activity out and about preparing for the onslaught of summer guests. It is wonderful to live somewhere that others choose to live on their summer vacations. National Public Radio aired a segment the other day about Massachusetts being in much better shape than the rest of the nation.

Because anyone with eyes can see the spring beauty in our landscapes and gardens, I am going to take a short commercial break and focus on a new business that is in keeping with our green mentality here at home.

Martha’s Closet, the clothing consignment store at Tisbury Market Place, has opened a children’s store. Martha has had a baby, if you will. It is located in the old Island CD space below Island Entertainment. Those accustomed to consignment know about the trade of clothing for credit against others’s perfectly good merchandise. The space is open and inviting with some excellent deals on children’s clothing, furniture, shoes and toys. How wonderful to eliminate more Wal-Mart shopping.

Speaking of commercials, I heard one for Scott’s lawn fertilizer that reminded the user to sweep the product from the driveway to keep the groundwater clean. Did I come down the stairs yesterday? What am I missing here? The product only pollutes the groundwater if left on the sidewalk?

My City of Haarlem yellow hyacinths are blooming. They are seriously impressive. Consider a dozen or so next fall when shopping for bulbs. I am amused and ashamed to admit that I got myself in quite a snit. The deer just polished off some just-about-to-bloom silver stream tulips. I guess the rain had washed away the deer repellent. I am amazed I could get so hateful of one of God’s creatures, but at least I try not to run over people who cut me off in traffic.

It is the 22nd anniversary of the meltdown at the Chernobyl power plant in Ukraine, near Russia, both part of the then-Soviet Union. It will take 200 or 300 years to sanitize the area that has been in nuclear winter since the accident. The health damage on untold numbers of animals and people has yet to be resolved. I remember so well when it happened. I freaked out and began putting water in canning jars and sealing them against the possibility of our own water supply being damaged as the radiation leaked around the world. My children still make fun of me to this day. I wish it were funny. People, please, resist the temptation to turn to nuclear power as an alternative to fossil fuel.

Speaking of Russia — Russian olives are on the invasive list for a reason. Check out the enormous crop of them in front of the old Helio’s Restaurant property. I guess it was the Artworkers Guild after the restaurant went out of business. Way back, John Parkinson had the Nobnocket Garage repair shop. I think the property has been vacant for more than a decade and those Russian olives are completely taking over.

I waitressed for more than 30 years. This subject is fodder for an entire book, never mind a newspaper column. I might title it, Is It a Fishy Fish? Anyway, once I served Robert Cropper’s Chocolate Bomb to an elderly gentleman. As was my custom, I approached him as he was eating and inquired if everything was all right. He slowly put down his fork, licked his lips, wiped his mouth on his napkin and motioned for me to lean over. He took his time and finally remarked, “This is what God has for breakfast.”