When my aunt approached a toll booth, handed the toll-taker a fresh Kleenex and blew her nose in a five dollar bill, we knew she was a bit distracted. She often used the wrong word to describe something, and once, in a conversation about china at a dinner party, proved her point by flipping over a full plate, scattering potatoes, beans and lamb, as well as her tablemate.

Did she have early stage Alzheimer’s? I doubt it, because she was like that all her life, and had a respectable career. But her behaviors are symptomatic of people who have begun to lose basic life skills. Putting a purse in the refrigerator, adding a second sweater on top of the first, forgetting to eat, or, more likely, having a second meal, are signs of the onset of Alzheimer’s.

We’ve all misplaced our keys, forgotten a name or made a careless error. The other day I picked up the school bus microphone to speak to the kids. They ignored me. I turned up the volume and spoke again. And again. Only then did I realize I was using the external bus microphone, alerting my fellow drivers of my message. Too late I reached for the internal mike. Do I have Alzheimer’s?

My mother in law Philomena just turned 87, widowed three years, recently hospitalized and relocated in an assisted living facility. She does not know where she now resides, speaks to her deceased husband, asks for $200 for the hairdresser, and has difficulty with word choice. She exhibits early stage Alzheimer’s, and it is not surprising, given her age and recent multiple life changes. She is one of more than five million Americans with Alzheimer’s, 130,000-plus in Massachusetts and 8,500 on the Cape and Islands. The disease has crept into our consciousness.

Gary Davis, a licensed social worker and certified dementia provider who is Tapestry Program director of Salmon Healthcare and once a frequent Vineyard visitor, has spent decades dealing with Alzheimer’s. He shares tenets of the Alzheimer’s Association, which focuses on cultivating brain health to prevent, or at least delay, the onset of Alzheimer’s.

Four precepts for a healthy brain include: movement, or physical exercise; a diet high in antioxidants of dark fruit, especially blueberries, and green, leafy vegetables; social contact, meaning don’t isolate; and neurobics or new learning, mental exercise to keep the brain alert with nonroutine acts and thoughts to increase cognitive reserve by activating new brain cells. “Twenty minutes a day for three months should do the trick,” Mr. Davis suggested.

Research gained from head trauma aids the cause. “Brain cells die in a trauma, so the goal is to activate those cells around a head injury,” Mr. Davis said. With Alzheimer’s, plaques and tangles in the brain cause memory loss, the primary symptom of Alzheimer’s. The goal is to rejuvenate the branches of brain cells adjacent to the damaged cells.

The medical model of rehabilitation is to repair, but with Alzheimer’s, the memory cannot be repaired, so the focus is on what is termed habilitation, or strength-based care. The focus with Alzheimer’s patients is to maintain strengths: what the person can do.

Back to my mother in law. We have to accept where she is. If she confuses her daughter with her sister, what’s the harm? If she says it’s Tuesday, and we know it’s Friday, why argue? She lives with 24-hour care, and if her anxiety is minimized by allowing her to live in her own world, let her. She is still very capable of dressing herself appropriately, conversing on common topics and telephoning her children. We want to maximize those attributes as long as possible.

No one has a cure for this dreaded disease. Efforts are underway to minimize our chance of developing it, but there are no guarantees. The cause is likely a genetic tendency, in conjunction with age. The best advice is to do the best you can, as long as you can. Exercise, eat right, keep a positive attitude, and stimulate your brain.

This Sunday, May 16, Alzheimer’s Services of Cape Cod and the Islands hosts a fundraiser to collect monies and spread awareness of Alzheimer’s. Registration at the high school parking lot starts at 11 a.m., and the walk steps off at noon, along the bike path to Dodger’s Hole and back, just two miles. The cost to register is $25, or raise at least $50 in donations. There will be no kayaks this year due to bridge construction along State Beach. Donations may be sent to Alzheimer’s Services, 712 Main Street, Hyannis, MA 02601, on line at walk@alzcapecod.org, or call 508-775-5656. Your participation is greatly appreciated. All funds raised remain on the Cape and Islands.

Gazette contributor Tom Dresser lives in Oak Bluffs.