Kim and I have just returned from a quick trip to Logan (dropping nephews off, and spending an hour with our new friend Amy, Jet Blue check-in trainee), and a visit to Kim’s homeland, Lake Winnipesaukee. Had a lovely time. Truly beautiful part of the country. No moose sightings, but still fun. So, I may have missed a bit of Chappy “happy”-nings, but I just make most of this stuff up anyway. Welcome back us! Thank you!

I’ve started to carry a bell with me into town. Too often I tip our local cafe servers without adequate notice. Now, I just ring my bell as I put my dollar in the jar.

Awesome weather. My mold is growing mildew. This is the earliest my leather shoes have turned green. Of course by the time you, loyal readers (reader?), read this, the weather will have turned toward the cool. A weekly paper cannot provide the immediate feedback that some other media might. But can one find pure poetry of prose in a text message? I didn’t think so.

I’ve decided that space that could otherwise be devoted to birth announcements and commencement news is being unfairly squeezed out by the detailed reporting of the pleasant behavior of people as it relates to me. Henceforth, I will only be providing a list of names, absent the deed. This week’s list: Ron Rizun; Susan Seager (more from her later); the elderly lady in the tan Volvo X-Country wagon; the gal at the pharmacy.

There must be a holiday afoot, as Chappy is abuzz with activity. Lawns are being triple cut, deck furniture power washed; and old grudges renewed. This is indeed a fine season for the Summer Folk — a chance to strut their stuff and break out the blazers and fun ties! (smiling whales with top hats — hilarious). Less enthused are the local fauna (the flora probably doesn’t dig the extra traffic either). I’ve seen some rather depressed looking bunnies lately. Long leisurely bunny strolls on Chappy roads with family are no longer advised. But cheer up rabbit, October comes faster than you can imagine. And there are many holistic remedies available to you now for seasonal depression. Talk to your bunny doctor: side effects may include drowsiness and zigzag running.

Skunk and crow news: one may notice an inordinate amount of attention given to our black feathered and furred friends, but this writer tends to write about what is directly in front of him : crows and skunks.

A crow on our roof this morning was talking rather loudly with his friend on our flagpole. It was 5 a.m. Library voices please. The skunk gangs have become more brazenly aggressive. Not only do they not flee at the sight of me; they actually take a few posturing steps forward as if to say, “You want a piece of this?” No worries skunks, I am a peace-loving individual, not a piece loving chap. I’m a lover, not a fighter.

Did someone post on the Chappy ferry board that our dock was now open as a public restroom to the seagull population? It went from being a pristine and uniform light grey (what I believe the clothing catalogs call “dusty morn”) to a Rorschach test of white sliminess. Overnight. Dudes, c’mon — the Suhlers have a much bigger dock to our west! It’s as if a seagull tour bus let everybody off at our dock after a ten hour ride. Or, as my nephew postulated, it could be the product of just that one “abnormally large” seagull. Who knows? Greg Skomal?

Speaking of seagulls, I watched with delight from the Chappy Ferry parking lot, a single seagull drop at least six different spider crabs from a height sufficient to crack the shell. Nature at work. But imagine my glee when one of the crab’s descents to pavement was interrupted by the hood of an obscenely large and speeding SUV. Yes, I’m that spiteful.

Didn’t see Peter Wells this week. Must be taking another one of his long summer vacations. Did however get a chance to talk to Ferry Capt. Liz. We swapped stories of North Neck vehicle encounters; her favorite being the time that her daughter pulled out a book to read whilst the driver in front of her refused to back into an immediate turn off. Yet another anecdote to dispel the myth that Chappy folk are cranky.

Annie Heywood news: saw Annie driving her Volvo sedan between Caleb’s Pond road and Litchfield road. She seemed happy and content.

Susan Seager (as promised) wrote to tell me an interesting story that I’ve decided to include (both because it’s genuinely of interest and because she complimented my writing). The story, however, as related by Susan was a bit lengthy so I’ve chosen to paraphrase here: Susan Seager Mittelstaedt and her son Oliver Mittelstaedt (I’m pretty sure that they must be misspelling that, but it’s their name, so whatever) were returning from town one night (don’t remember which) when they picked up a hitchhiking bartendress from Vermont. After dropping her off at desired location, they proceeded to pick up a border collie from Vermont. I believe he was minding his own business, and not illegally hitchhiking, but he was gathered into the Seagers van anyway. Consequently Codfish’s (dog’s name) owner, Andy Rice, spent the night in his truck waiting for his pal’s return. Codfish, Susan and Oliver slept comfortably in their bedrooms at the top of North Neck Road.

In fairness to Susan, Codfish was indeed lost, having wandered from his surroundings (apparently the border gene in this border collie was not particularly dominant). And Susan did make a valiant attempt to track down Codfish’s owner. She even called me (local canine constable?) that night to inquire as to whether I was familiar with said dog. I was not, I was sorry to say, but forgot to mention that she might look at Codfish’s tag for an owner’s phone number (where, indeed, it was located). Perhaps an obvious detail, but Susan is from California. So Andy (a travelling sheep shearer from Vermont — I can’t make this stuff up) and Codfish had to wait until the following morning for their reunion. In the end, everyone was happy. Codfish had an adventure, Susan and Oliver made a friend, and Andy finally got some time to bond with his truck.

In other news: Longtime summer residents Jim Mullen and Margaret Rodney Mullen will be celebrating their 37th anniversary this July 7! My invitation must have gotten lost in the mail.

Columnist’s note: for those readers interested only in the happenings and events and announcements of Chappy, this is the part of the column to which one should skip. Or walk.

Following are, with a couple exceptions, the cut and pastings of announcements sent to me:

CCC News: Sharon Daly will hang an exhibit at the community center through July 10. Pilates starts Wednesday at 8 a.m. Yoga and latin dance exercise continue Tuesday and Thursday, yoga at 8 a.m., exercise at 4:30 p.m. There is room in the tennis and sailing classes for kids and adults. Ice cream social on Wednesday, July 7 from 7 to 8:30 p.m. Members of the CCC board will be on hand to talk about the future tennis court to be built across the street when funds have been raised. The foreign film series begins this Friday at 8 p.m. with the film Broken Embraces, a Spanish film directed by Pedro Almodovar, starring Penelope Cruz, nominated for Golden Globe in 2009. For more information call the Chappy Community Center at 508-627-8894 or check the Web site:

The CIA July annual meeting is this Saturday, July 3. Gather at 8 a.m. for coffee and doughnuts and catch up with your friends and neighbors. Meeting to start at 9 a.m.

Grant Schaller is setting up a food pantry box at the CCC. Donations are welcome throughout the week. Vacationers are encouraged to drop off surplus food. Please call Grant at 508-627-9892 with any questions.

This week’s horoscope: Oh boy. Oh dear. You’d rather not know.

Question of the week: Discontinued due to lack of interest. I’m sorry people, but you have to work with me here.