BRAD WOODGER

508-627-4216

(ibwsgolf@aol.com)

I’ve never heard of holding August in July, but I’m sure someone had a good reason for doing it. I wonder if we’ll get July in August? Or another August. Or a Jaugust? Only thing that could have made this July a wee bit more August-y would have been a hint more arrogance.

I find myself Chappybound more this summer due to golf course and bug responsibilities. If one must be held to a specific geography, Chappy surely is a top choice. But I miss my ferry trips: catching up on the weather with the ferry captains, talking to strangers through open car windows, and getting a few quality minutes with my neighbors. Oh, what a weird and wonderful social experiment is the Chappy Ferry. And Peter is our dear Freud. And Matt Wetzel our Captain Stubing (why don’t all ferry captains wear the appropriate attire).

I omitted a few dogs in last week’s shout-out to pets. Omitting dogs from a Chappy column is an offense punishable by Annie Heywood, and is a little known town bylaw.

Omitted dogs were: Reison/Mia/yellow lab/sweet as can be/Bette Davis eyes.

Ebersol/P.A./Mickey Rooney spunkiness.

Goldin/Lilly/Jack Russell/Andy Rooney eyebrows.

Carrier/Ulla/golden/ joyful Mensa dropout.

Enos/Obie/springer spaniel/Richard Simmons energy.

Anonymous Dog/North Neck resident/direct descendent of Mel Gibson.

And then there’s Arnold, half puggle, half meatloaf, all devil. As fate would have it, he resides next door to us with our lovely neighbors (and friends) George and Mimi Bennett. Arnold appears to be an immovable object (even by himself). But he can be found miles from home, having followed an attractive jogger to the paved road, and then having lost his train of thought, losing his way home. He means well, as do the Bennetts in their ever-taxing attempts to keep Arnold in sight. But like a Quarter Deck softserve in the hands of a child on a hot August day, Arnold can not be expected to be contained within the perimeter of his confines. Thus last weekend’s jail stay came as a surprise to no one. Picked up by a concerned citizen and delivered into the caring hands of the dog warden Barbara Prada, Arnold spent 24 hours, hard time, in the pen. I’m happy to report that he returned home no worse the wear, save for a heart-shaped tattoo with the word Muther in it’s middle. The Bennets other dog, Molly (yellow lab), deserves mention as well. Good dog, Molly. Your reward is in heaven.

The Halls return to Big Camp this week for their 15th August as family in residence. Joanie Hall who cut her Island teeth as a Shanty waitress (in the ‘40s? ‘80s — can’t remember), brings with her: husband Bob, and kids Stepper, Franny, and the other one (I’m kidding, Henry!) Joanie hails from a good GE town, like myself, and is consequently well versed in down-home friendliness. Be sure to return her big wave when you see her (or you’ll be put on her list. And mine).

Speaking of waving: it’s a fairly easy gesture to master. But for those of you who still have difficulties with the movement (as you squeeze by my little red truck like Mama Cass pushing her way to the front of the Sizzler line), Joanie and I will be teaching waving classes (next to the nude figure drawing) at the Sculpin on Tuesday nights.

Old friends Lanning and Robbie McFarland will be celebrating their 63rd anniversary this August on Chappy! Robbie and Lanning were married in 1947 at St. Andrew’s in Edgartown (not Scotland) with the reception at the Yacht Club (did they have boats back then?!) Robbie is the granddaughter of Sam Seager — my great-granddad’s best friend. Robbie’s mom, Libby Seager, was a favorite of mine growing up on Chappy. She taught me how to fold hospital corners whilst making a bed (a skill that never fails to impress the ladies). She also was not shy about placing her front bumper on yours, should you meet in opposing destinations on North Neck, and slowly encouraging you to back up to a convenient turn-off spot. Libby was also an excellent parallel parker. So good that one morning she managed to park her rather large sedan with its bottom parallel to the side of a precipitously steep hill.

The car still had a few degrees to go before gravity flipped the whole deal, so when I arrived at the scene I thought that perhaps I could simply drive it off the hill. Libby agreed. Fortunately, my granddad Ham arrived and quelled any such notions. I wonder why he never let me drive his truck?

Anyway, Robbie and Lanning will be joined by a gaggle (crop? bevy?) of offspring which includes: Ann and Gary Parker; Andrew and Sarah Parker; Jamie and Michelle Parker; Sandy and Claire MacFarland; Brewster and Sarah MacFarland; and Cuba Gooding Jr. (pretty sure).

Speaking of old timers, Mr. Filley (Mr. Filley to his friends) will be lighting on Chappy soon from his home in Far Hills, N.J. O.D., as he is known to himself, is a welcome sight to us North Neckers — as much a part of our neighborhood as ospreys and honeysuckle.

I’d like to use this space provided me to formally thank Sonja, our Chappy mail carrier. Sonja, you are like Sisyphus, performing a never ending task. But unlike that grumpy Greek, you go about your business with a smile. Thanks for great service and good nature.

In other news: the third crow on the left (as you exit the ferry) and the seagull in the sky dropping the spider crab on the hood of your car, welcome their nephew Jediah from Ipswich. He’ll be working this month at the Crow and Seagull on Main street. He’s a fairly awful child.

This coming week at the Chappy Community Center, Jason Ames will teach a Qi Gong workshop on Sunday, August 1 from 3 to 5 p.m., all levels, donations accepted. On Tuesday, the kids movie is Up, at 7 p.m., free, with popcorn served. Wednesdays Pilates classes have been changed to 9 a.m. for the rest of the summer. Yoga is Tuesdays and Thursdays at 8 a.m. and Latin dance exercise at 4:30 p.m. The farmers’ market continues on Wednesdays, from 4:30 to 5:30 p.m. On Wednesday, August 4, there will be an ice cream social from 7 to 8:30 p.m., and at 8 p.m. New Hampshire’s foot-stomping Symmes-Jones Family Band will play traditional bluegrass and fiddle music. On Thursday at 8 p.m, the Amerigo String Quartet will open our classical concert series. The final voting for the 2011 calendar photo contest is Friday, August 6 at noon. You can pick up a pre-order form for the calendar at the CCC. Mary’s Friday night movie is the French film Diva at 8 p.m.

This week’s horoscope: don’t believe what you read in horoscopes. Except this one.

Question of the week: this week’s question comes courtesy of Nancy Slate. Is Bob Enos trying to outdo Dr. Dennis in hirsute excellence?

This week’s Lotto picks: 12, 19, :), 40, Q.