Lady Gaga called me on Tuesday, wanting to know when Annie Heywood would next be hosting the potluck. I unfortunately was not certain of the exact date, but I did put her in touch with Annie directly.

For those of you who are unaware, the addition of Lady Gaga to the Chappy tax roll has been widely reported in the national press. I, however, learned of the news via an e-mail from Uncle Jimmer; I’m not sure which was more disturbing — the news itself, or the fact that my 70-something “uncle” knew of it before I. Not that Lady Gaga is in the least bit disturbing herself; in fact I believe she is an absolutely delightful and a decent antidote to the humdrum comings and goings of the seaweed on the tide. And for those of you who still do not know what a Lady Gaga is — she is a young, bewigged pop singer. Not a rare plant or new tick-borne disease, as you may have speculated.

The location of Ms. Ga’s new digs has yet to be divulged. The Capt. Martin House was one possibility but her tall hats and the low ceilings didn’t jibe. Maybe a stilted house in Cape Pogue would tickle her fancy, though. And a fancy tickle it is.

On another topic — I recently returned from Brigham and Women’s Hospital (a far better alternative to Brigham’s Ice Cream Hospital in terms of health care), where my mom, Kris, had a cancerous tumor removed from her left lung. She is half a lung shy now, but also one tumor less, so the tradeoff is a-okay. Truly remarkable and inspiring what can be accomplished by medicine and withstood by a 73-year-old woman (this surgery was on top of three joint replacement surgeries — all within in the last year). I love you, Mom. And so does Lady Gaga.

Since I was absent from the little island for a few days, I can not with certainty report on all the news. But I’m going to guess that there were some wind gusts, that someone asked Bob on the ferry what the winter might be like, that a seagull called out in an incredibly human-like voice (I still swear that they know my name — my first name — we’re on that good of terms), that someone forgot to pick up light bulbs from the Stop and Shop and had to beg from Peter’s lamp to pay Paul’s lamp, and that there was a moment or two when someone realized the good fortune of knowing Chappy. And a crow told a bunny a bobwhite joke. All in good fun.

When I was a child visiting the grandparents on Chappy over Christmas (with my family — at age five I was still too young to travel alone. Six was fine, however), I was greatly concerned that Santa Claus would overlook Chappy in his travels. I was assured that Santa had Chappy on his route though. Unless I misbehaved, in which case he would simply laugh cynically as he whizzed past our chimney, his reindeer shaking their heads in disappointment that I couldn’t get my act together enough just to be good for Christmas. But I was good, as were my brothers, and Santa (in the form of Foster Silva) actually made a special stop at Grammy’s house to deliver some presents. That was the night that I learned Santa was a bourbon drinker.

In the spirit of Christmas, I would like to take this opportunity to thank the Gazette and the Chappy community for this gift of the column. I’ll soon be turning the reins back over to Margaret (much as Santa cedes the reins to his reindeer over to the New Year’s baby). I thoroughly enjoy the silent conversation with Chappy. So much so that if the new owners of the Gazette were to offer me a substantial raise, I would decline it. But I would accept the company car.

Merry Christmas, Annie.

And thank you Kim for being the angel atop my tree.

And from the intrepid CCC reporter Margaret Knight come the following:

On Sunday, Dec. 12 from 3 to 5 p.m. the annual holiday tea will be served at the Community Center, which will be decked out in its seasonal finery. Come by for high tea, Chappy-style, with sweets and sandwiches and tea served from gleaming silver pots. The wreaths will be hung, the fire will be crackling, and the caffeine flowing — there will also be decaf tea and hot chocolate with whipped cream. All ages and sexes are invited. Don’t miss this festive event!

There are still some 2011 photo calendars left so if you haven’t gotten one yet, you can download an order form at or call Margaret Knight at 508-627-8222. They make great presents!