BRAD WOODGER

508-627-4216

(ibwsgolf@aol.com)

Annie Heywood is no longer in Russia. I know this because Annie left me a message from her home (phone) on Jeremiah Way. I’m collecting Annie voicemails for my retelling of Chappy history through the eyes and messages of Annie. The book will be called Hey Brad, Guess What! So I was very upset with myself for inadvertently pressing the 3 (erase) instead of the 2 (save) upon completion of Annie’s informative message. If I recall, however, it went something like this: “I’m back ... Russia, cuter guys in Greece, jewels, royal jewels, St. Petersburg, eggs, Moscow, much more to tell, got to get you over.” I feel as if I were there. So now I can cross Russia off my list.

“It” happened sooner than I expected. Yesterday, Tuesday, I complained to the grackle-ish birds beside me that it was so darn hot and humid. I anticipated this complaint back in late May when I was complaining to the same birds (maybe not the exact same birds) that it was so cold and clammy. I find that the weather rarely pleases, but when it does, we do celebrate, don’t we? And the ferry captains get to share in those celebrations in five-minute intervals throughout those glorious days. “Sure is a great day, Keith, huh?” “Wait a minute, Bob, and, it’ll all change, but, hoo boy, today is a beaut, dontcha think?” I imagine the captains furtively filing through their flash cards for imaginative and fresh responses: “Sure is, (passenger’s name), we’ve earned it,” et cetera.

Speaking of the ferry, where else but here could we enjoy a floating cafe at a whim? If not for certain coast guard regulations, a coffee bar would be an excellent addition to the On Times (making them, if possible, even more on-timer). I do always try to be seated on these passenger trips, because I know that it is not a frivolous wish of Peter’s to have his patrons not wandering about the deck, but sometimes the lure of the wheelhouse gossip is too great to resist. The On-Times are our CNN crawlers, I suppose: a continuous and slightly changing loop of Chappy news.

Speaking of Chappy news, I am not unaware that in these times of Internet (thanks Al!) columns like mine lack an immediacy to which we’ve become accustomed. But I should note that I do my best never to turn in my column on time, so that I may include the latest breaking Wednesday news for Friday’s column. You’re welcome.

Speaking of you’re welcome, I read with pleasure that someone bought Ray Ellis’s tie for $150,000 at a Martha’s Vineyard Preservation Trust auction. I guess no one had the heart to tell him that he could buy a slightly less expensive one just down the road at Vineyard Vines. But my point is that although buildings may not be as important as people, it still remains heartening that our local celebrities and their wealthy counterparts do so much to support our Island, its people, and its causes. I don’t know Ray or Teddy Ellis (or the tie buyer) well, but I’d like to thank them for their generosity throughout the years. Celebrity on this island off the Island can get a bad rap. But my experience has been that those with the notoriety do more good than ill with their fame here. There have been some rather mean-spirited things written lately about my soon-to-be neighbor, Lady G., and somehow my present neighbor, Meg (Ms. Ryan), gets dragged into the fray if only because of proximity and recognizability. But, as a neighbor, Meg is like any other on our road; sometimes she says hi, sometimes she doesn’t, sometime she’s happy, sometimes she’s sad, sometimes she’s on the phone, sometimes she’s not. She seems nice — probably is. So, Lady Gaga, don’t worry — if you’re coming here, we’ll treat you like our own: Sometimes we’ll wave, sometimes we won’t. But we’ll never be mean.

On an Island of identities, town residency still seems to stamp us the hardest, and questions of origin are asked and received with equal amounts of pride and “So what?” Being from Chappy may trump all other beings though, as this being appears to most sharply define the character of the Island resident. Sometimes all that ever need be said as way of explanation, excuse, or illumination is “I’m from Chappy.” Oh. Ohhhhh. And when we see one another off-Chappy, on the Big Island, the encounter is not unlike passing by a fellow New Englander in a tuk-tuk in Bangkok: “Hey, I know you!” So it’s with some fascination that I report that I saw Dick Knight on five separate occasions and five different off-Chappy locations this past Monday. I know. Awesome.

Perhaps the sole benefit of insomnia is the morning bird. As I write this, bird friends sing me a welcome song and I feel less alone. The song is familiar, from their greatest hits collection, but it is never sung the same way twice — different members of the band coming and going. There are surely those among us that can distinguish the voices of the individual type of bird, but there is a joy (and laziness) in listening to the collective, non-contextual joining of bird voices. Soon, at first light, the crows will begin their relay of calls to one another, but by this time the littler songbirds will have had the stage to themselves for a good half hour. And, unlike up-Island, Chappy has few roosters to spoil the mood with their boisterous and egotistical announcing of daybreak. No, sunrise can come in peace here to Chappy for the most part, save the wind and the rain and the gnats.

The family of Judy Hill Fleming, a summer resident of Chappy since 1968, will have a brief memorial service/burial at the Chappy cemetery on July 3 at noon for her friends and neighbors over the years at Chappy. She died on July 24, 2010 in Syracuse, N.Y. A celebration of her life reception will follow the service at her home on Chappy(46 Harborview aveue). All are invited. Chappy dress (casual).

Sailing classes start this week at the Chappy Community Center; register at the CCC or download a form at the Web site chappycommunitycenter.org. Yoga also begins, Tuesdays and Thursdays at 8 a.m. ($12 subscriber/$15 nonsubscriber); Tai Chi is Monday and Friday at 9 a.m. (free). Mahjong continues Mondays 1 to 3 p.m., and dance exercise class Tuesdays and Thursdays at 4:30 p.m. ($2 to benefit the tennis fund). The Ladies’ Tea is Friday, July 1 from 2 to 4 p.m., to welcome everyone back to summer. The CIA holds their annual meeting on Saturday, July 2.