As with all of us, life is a series of stages and transitions. Years of joy and trepidation. Times of fun and despair. Or just plain time.
In this season of graduations, I have one granddaughter moving up from the Edgartown School to the regional high school, one grandson moving from high school to college, and one granddaughter moving from college on to graduate school. It got me thinking about the stages of life, the messages they all received, the love and support of their parents, and the world they will now experience as they transition into these challenging times.
My high school years were less inspiring and more pedantic. I read now of an environment in today’s world that will be diverse, inspirational, intellectually stimulating and also filled with adolescent angst. Our granddaughter entering high school will be exposed to all kinds of courses, ones that are the necessary path to further education. But will it be a time of smooth sailing and great happiness? Hopefully, yes. Realistically, no. High school is unsettling, demanding and full of decisions for the next stage in her young life. But it should also be years of character building, tolerance, faith and empathy toward others. From what I see and hear, there will be some amazing lessons taught and lessons learned.
As our grandson in high school in Williamstown said so poignantly as the chosen speaker at his graduation: “Teachers have been flexible, but they have also pushed us to make sure we reach our potential.” From some of the voices coming from his class, that has been achieved. The teacher chosen by the senior class encouraged them “to complain. Complaints are the key. That incites change.” Our grandson talked about the freedom and safety to speak out, to contemplate, to appreciate, and yes, to challenge. They also had immense fun. Times of real high school pranks and mischief. Most of all, he mentioned the sacrifices, the time spent, the love and support of each and every parent.
The college graduation experience was the icing on the cake. The main speaker was Ursula Burns, CEO of Xerox, an African American woman who came from a single parent family, whose mother never made more than $4,000 a year and put three children through college and had gotten her degree in mechanical engineering. Her message was not technological. It was not about “bells and whistles” of our world today. It was not about “succeed at all cost.” It was not about how much money one would make. It was about who you have become, will continue to become, as a person. That includes love for others, kindness to your fellow man, revering your education from Williams College and using it to better the world . . . in whatever field you choose. Be honest and spiritual, she said. Remember the hardest of times build character — and there will be hard times. There will be jealousies and even evilness. The world is scary and constantly changing in ways unknowable to all — especially first time graduates out in the real world. Love yourself. Never give in to your fears — get through them. That will build your character, not defeat you. Ms. Burns received a standing ovation.
In all, the messages were about people. About youth as people. About youth striving and being challenged. About
honesty and faith. About their souls. I thought, such messages would never have been heard in my generation of the 1950s. Talk about character, strengths, weaknesses, the person. The realities of the human condition. Never.
Things look good for our future, as the eloquence of all the speakers young and old that I listened to suggested, whether all the 24-7 information is there or not, with messages and texts and instant information. The good news is, kids today are smarter than ever, and they are getting good messages most of the time. They are in touch with their psyches and the realities of life. And yes, of course, there will always be dark times in their lives that will test them, bring them to their knees or try to completely defeat them. They cannot control the darkness that will happen. But being young adults who have learned how to speak up, ask questions, challenge ideas and are able to rely on their own intellect, they will be one step closer to who they are and will become.
And we as parents and grandparents will reap the rewards from all they have learned, in our world.
Susan Lamoreaux lives in Edgartown.
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