The turn of the calendar is time for resolutions, predictions and aspirations for the new year. So inspired by sometime Katama resident David Letterman, here is a Top 10 list of things we hope will (and won’t) happen on Martha’s Vineyard in 2020.
10. A low-cost, lead-free, state-of-the-art, historically intact elementary school magically materializes on the site of the old Tisbury School.
9. A new business opens that provides employment for Islanders with disabilities and offers delicious confections under a variety of clever names — except during the month of August.
8. Tired of being branded washashores, the entire Lone Star tick population migrates en masse to Texas.
7. Composting toilets are all the rage following widespread rumors that the Obamas have adopted a zero-waste lifestyle.
6. The Martha’s Vineyard Film Festival announces its new home: the Island Theatre. For agreeing to donate the Oak Bluffs eyesore, the Hall family receives the Spirit of the Vineyard award.
5. In a miracle of evolution, piping plovers decide to begin nesting in trees like sensible birds. A cottage industry springs up for hand-crafted piping plover houses.
4. The evil demon known as Mechanical Issues, said to be responsible for dozens of ferry cancellations, is finally exorcised.
3. Michael Bloomberg focuses his primary campaign on Martha’s Vineyard, single-handledly underwriting the summer fundraising season.
2. Fed up with earth, the moon moves just enough farther away to keep the high tides out of Five Corners and the Edgartown harbor parking lot.
1. After seeking public comment, Island leaders propose cost-effective, common sense, creative solutions to community issues. Online readers respond with grace, appreciation and positivity.
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