On Christmas Eve when snow was thick
To Martha’s Vineyard came St. Nick
And all his reindeer wearing masks
As was St. Nick for this year’s task
Of giving gifts to one and all
The plump, the thin, the short, the tall
Who on the Island spend their time
Because they find it so sublime.
The reindeer flew from far away
Pulling behind their heavy sleigh
To reach this Island of renown
And, wearily, they first set down
To graze awhile in West Tisbury town
Where postal workers, Jack, Diane,
Dari and Tara are the clan
Who processed Christmas cards and gifts
And worked so joyfully on their shifts
That Santa’s presents for that crew
Were the very first, without ado,
He chose to pull from out his sack.
A steel guitar for Ryan, Jack.
Then Diane got gold running shoes
Dari a puzzle to peruse
While Tara got a helmet bright
So she will not be out of sight
Motorcycling here and there
Enjoying as she does fresh air.
Then off St. Nick went with his crew
With a bench for Alley’s — not quite new
But fitting for its summer sitters —
Shirley Howell, who’s Dick Burt’s sister,
The Michael Hulls and Jennie Greene,
And Ellen Weiss, all five are seen
In warmer months out on the porch,
Engaged, of course, in deep discourse
On art and architecture — such good things.
There were jelly jars Santa always brings
For Linda Alley for her jelly and jam
And Sara Reekie got a Scottish tam
Naomi Plakin got a stuffed bear
This one will not give her a scare
Though in New Hope some bears still roam
There won’t be one near her Chilmark home.
There was hay for the horses of Bruce Marchard
And there were the works of the Scottish Bard —
Robby Burns, of course — for Colin Ewing.
By then all the reindeer had finished chewing
The grass in North Tisbury where they’d stopped,
All grass that had been there had been cropped
And Donder and Blitzen were ready to go
And Dancer and Prancer were ready also
So into his sled St. Nick jumped with a bound
And off into the sky without any sound
The reindeer and Santa went flying away
To find some other spot where they’d happily stay
Where the reindeer would find there was grazing galore
Not just of dry grass but of much, much more
That reindeer enjoy when they’ve left the North Pole
And are helping St. Nick in his Christmas Eve role.
They had not gone far when they saw down below
Felix Neck Sanctuary quite white with the snow
But with patches of green looking tasty to eat
Blueberry bushes would be a great treat
And the Russian olives were looking most yummy
To every reindeer who liked food in his tummy
So down they descended with a great whoosh
And Prancer, the first, found a sassafras bush
To munch on while Santa reopened his pack
And pulled from its depths a classy rucksack
For Isaac Silber-Parr when he goes back to school
While for Pamela Goff was a new swimming pool.
There were dozens of eggs for that Thomas, Pam
While for Ryan Malonson was beach plum jam.
There were cowboy boots next for Malkin, Jim
A Vineyard Vines tie for Maley, Tim.
Steve Warriner got a new pair of skis
And there were goat treats for Connie Breeze.
An air ticket to Kona when the time is right
And the Covid virus has gone out of sight
Was in Santa’s sack for Willett, Rose
While David Fielder got a brand new hose
For the garden he tends with such great care,
And for Bob Ganz was a rocking chair.
Bob Hungerford got some more sleigh bells
And for Laura Silber there were chanterelles
For the dishes she makes that are so tasty.
There was a new cat for Runner, Hasty
An autoharp came for that Lowe, Sandy,
And then — they will surely come in handy —
For Jesse Steere were winning scratch tickets
While Deborah Burress got croquet wickets.
Then Donald Shanor got a new phone
Since the old one makes all his callers moan.
For Rosemary Stimola there was a beachchair
For Lambert’s Cove sunning when days are fair.
A shiny brass foghorn was in Santa’s sack
For Dan Deslauriers, and some bric-a-brac
For Wanda Williams — helpful lass —
While for Steve Gentle was a 50-pound bass.
Then Noah Asimow got his own clam rake
And Amber Litterer a pet milk snake.
For Donnie Sexton there were chocolates dark
While Anne Vanderhoop got a sweet-singing lark.
A sea-glass tiara was in Santa’s sack
For Genevieve Hammond, and carrots for Jack.
He is Tara Whiting’s much-favored horse,
When town matters are wild, he keeps her on course.
He gives her respite outside the town hall
Where Tara was really right on the ball
In this tempestuous election year
When her work in West Tisbury was without peer
Then Mary Briggs got a Joe Keenan stollen
While Nicola Blake got a coat not woolen
But made from alpaca, ’twas mighty nice.
And next there came for Rich Paradise
A trunkful of new memberships,
While another Lab was for Betsy Dripps.
For David McCullough were scallops to eat —
From Vineyard waters they can’t be beat.
Nancy Condliffe got stacks of good wishes
And Jennifer Goeckel bone China dishes.
For Debbie MacInnes cat treats galore.
For the cats she has and does adore.
And Judge Mike Carroll got a new robe
While Noah Manning got a globe.
For Tom Chase was a falconry book
In it he’ll find, if he takes a look
All about falcons he needs to know
And there were tickets for a Broadway show
For Doherty, Paul and Behnke, Dave.
About whose singing everyone raves
They can use the tickets when the time is right
And the deadly virus is out of sight.
Then Julia Wells got a puppy run
For Rory, who’s a most lively one.
For Stephanie Michalczyk was a crossword puzzle;
For Tiger Waitskin cat food to guzzle.
Maggie Moffett got a lacrosse stick;
For Marjorie Peirce there was turmeric
While a D-9 bulldozer was in Santa’s sack
(It had been quite hard for him to pack)
For Albie White ’twas the perfect gift,
But the reindeer had been a trifle miffed
That it weighed so much inside their sleigh,
But now it was gone and without delay
The reindeer had gone away to play
To feast on the plants that were still green
As the reindeer had already seen
As they’d made their landing in Edgartown
At Felix Neck of great renown
Where wildlife thrives all through the year
’Twas just the place for the reindeer
To rest awhile and munch and meet
The local deer who’d come to greet
The North Pole deer and give advice
On what to eat that was extra nice.
So Santa went back to his lightened sack
And found, deep inside that inviting pack
A cocktail shaker for Richard Very
And then there was for David Merry
A backpack trip to make him cheery.
And Santa also had an Emmy
For Ann Bassett for her TV shows.
That everyone likes and everyone knows.
Joan Pretty got a Lippinzanner
While for Esther Reid was a beach-front manor.
For Pepper Eisner there was a kitty cat
And for her parents a welcome mat.
Then Linda Fischer for her new pup
Got a warm winter coat to dress him up.
Elliott, Bruce of Chicken Alley
Got jars he’ll like of blackberry jelly.
Then there was canvas for Williams, Rez
To do more paintings since everyone says
Of Cedar Tree Neck he has done such a fine one
While for Tom Berrry for storing venison
St. Nicholas had a new cold shed.
Then for Karen Casper was a comfortable bed
At the hospital when she has time out
From emergency care where, without a doubt,
She’s been kept busy these Covid days.
For Vicky Bijur there was a chaise
For rests in the sun when winter is done
And sitting outside will again be fun.
Janelle Coehlo got a piping bag
To decorate cakes that never sag
Or stick to the pan or things like that
And she never, of course, makes a cake that’s flat
They’re always in layers three or more
Not like any cakes to be bought in a store.
For Douglas Batten was a silver wrench —
A perfect gift for that fine mench.
For Don Lyons and John T. Hughes,
Santa had in his pack whatever they’d choose.
The Barack Obamas got flowers galore
For their elegant house that sits near the shore.
For Eleanor Ketcham there was holiday fare
Including the finest of Anjou pears.
Then for Bob Wasserman was a new Fitbit
And Skyler Wallcox got a cashmere knit
Then a spotted turtle was in Santa’s sack
For Noah Ben David and a lamb rack
For Aretha Brown who likes to cook.
While for Alex Bullen Coutts was a Greek cookbook.
A gas-powered vacuum was in Santa’s sack
For Bernier, Steve when he cleans out back
And around his store to keep it neat
It’s certain with it, he can’t be beat
And will have the strength for his other tasks
Like making sure that all wear masks
Who work in his store or come to buy
The meat or the fish or the apple pie
Or cheese or milk or who knows what
For Cronig’s Market is no Pizza Hut.
For Anne Amundsen there were lobster rolls
And for Trish Ing bright-colored bowls.
For Lloyd Feller and Shapiro, Sandy
Were warm winter coats to come in handy
When they play golf on an icy course.
And then there were to please Chris Morse
Eisenstadt photos thought long lost —
A treasure trove of greatest cost.
Dorothy Gregory got a Viking cruise
When cruises, again, are in good news.
By then Santa’s deer had had their fill
Of bushes and grasses on every hill
Of the Felix Neck Sanctuary in Edgartown
What remained wasn’t tasty, but almost brown
Though, of course, there remained for hikers to see
All sorts of delights behind every tree
But the reindeer were ready to head for the sky
To be up in the air and to say goodbye
To Suzan Bellincampi and to her fine crew,
And to Vineyarders all, both the old and the new.
And St. Nick was thinking that being on high
With masks on the deer might just go array
On the flight to Nantucket which was his next stop.
That shouldn’t, of course, be a very long hop
But Nantucket folk would be waiting, he knew
Until he and his reindeer came into their view
So he waved a goodbye to Vineyarders all
And promised, next year, except for a squall
He’d be back once again on his annual trip
And, he said, he was sure all would come with great zip
Over land, over sea, over mountains as well
As soon as the virus had gone right to hell.
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