Editors note: The following speech was delivered by Kenny MacDonald, a U.S. Navy Seal who grew up on the Vineyard, to the students of the Edgartown School at their annual March to the Sea event on Friday.

Memorial Day is a time for Americans to honor soldiers who died in service to this country. It’s a day of gratitude and remembrance. For veterans, Memorial Day is a little different. It’s personal. It’s a day filled with names, faces and memories that never fade.

The names I carry with me bring a mix of emotions. At first, I smile — remembering a larger-than-life friend, cracking jokes, being goofy or offering deep insights that gave me a new perspective. But then, that smile fades because he never got the chance to grow old. He never got the chance to fall in love, raise kids or live the life he deserved.

Kenny MacDonald delivering his speech at March to the Sea event. — Ray Ewing

On this day, I don’t think much about patriotism, or flags or politics. On Memorial Day, I’d rather ask, what can my fallen brothers-in-arms teach us about life? They were loyal patriots, but that’s not what defined them. They were funny, ambitious and compassionate. They worked hard at their jobs as professional soldiers. And they weren’t perfect, they were human, just like you and me. They mattered — not because they wore a uniform, but because of who they were.

Sometimes, the wars don’t reflect our highest ideals. But from my experience, the men and women who died in them do. When my friend Matthew Kantor was mortally wounded on a foot patrol in Afghanistan, the first thing he did was turn around and return fire, providing cover for the rest of his team to get to safety. He was 22 years old. My friend Stephen New was mortally wounded while providing medical care to another soldier during an ambush on their unit in Kabul. In their final moments, these two men put the lives of others over their own.

Why would they choose that? John 15:13 states: “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”

Whenever I lose hope in humanity — whenever I feel like giving up — I see the faces of my friends, and I’m reminded that they chose to lay down their lives so their brothers could live. They wanted to live. But to them, the lives of others mattered more. And that perspective — that level of faith — is humbling. They believed, subconsciously and without hesitation, that if their friends survived, those friends would go on to live lives worthy of their sacrifice.

Edgartown School children honor and remember fallen soldiers on Friday. — Ray Ewing

I look around these days and see so much cynicism. So much nihilism. But in the darkest moments of war, I see the greatest act of faith in humanity. They were better men than me yet they were much younger than I am today. They are frozen in time. I get to go on. So I’d better live a life worthy of their sacrifice.

Memorial Day isn’t about flag-waving or patriotic slogans. You don’t have to agree with the wars. But war serves as a brutal mirror, reflecting and amplifying everything about humanity — the bad and the good. War is humanity at its worst; it’s a descent into all the evils that come with hatred.

And far too often, it’s the young and the innocent who pay the highest price. To celebrate the institution of war would be foolish. But what is also found in war is extreme acts of sacrifice driven by love for another. Within the atrocity of war, the fallen soldier reminds us of our highest ideals as humans. Their sacrifice was rooted in a deep belief that our lives were worth their own and faith in a world they would never see.

The fallen soldiers were friends, brothers and neighbors. Some of them were from right here in this community. They walked the same streets and shared the same dreams and fears as you. We honor them not just in memory, but through action. Carry yourself with honor, integrity and purpose. Live to serve others. That is their legacy — it’s ours to carry forward. The greatest tribute we can offer is a life lived in their image: imperfect, but guided by the values and the love they carried to their final breath.

Thank you.

Kenny MacDonald served in Afghanistan before he was honorably discharged in 2015. He grew up on the Vineyard and has been working as an education support professional in the school’s bridge program for the past two years.