Training calves is a lot like training children: both have short attention spans, and both mostly want to play.

This spring, two playful Randall Lineback calves came ashore to a backyard farm in Oak Bluffs. Born in Connecticut, Duck and Goose are now part of the 4-H Katama Cowpokes working steer program. I’m helping Charlotte Goekel and Wren Robertson train the calves to work in a yoke and obey voice commands — just like the teams from “away” that compete at the Ag Fair.

Everyone loves the oxen classes at the Fair, but until 2026, every team traveled from New England to the Island. That wasn’t a bad thing, but it seemed to me the Vineyard needed teams of its own.

Those five cattle spent the winter at the Ag Hall barn, where the 4-H Katama Cowpokes fed them and cleaned stalls. Each Sunday, despite snow, sleet, hail or rain, we met at the barn to train them. We’d spend about half the time teaching the calves to respond to voice commands like “Gee” (turn right) and “Haw” (turn left), and the rest of the time playing. During playtime, the children taught the cattle how to run (they already knew that), how to jump over things, how to lie down on command and how to be ridden.

I was quite sure the cattle were learning. Not so sure about the children. Between sessions, I’d try to think of ways to teach the one key to success: confidence. To be a successful trainer, a child or adult has to know what she wants before she asks.

One girl kept looking back at her calves as she led them — and never saw the wall coming. Look ahead, not down or behind, to anticipate what’s coming.

But by far the most common complaint I got was, “The calves won’t do what I want.”

I pondered how to respond and finally said, “If the calf won’t do what you want, maybe you need to change the way you’re asking.”

It was clear to me that the girls needed to give commands with more confidence. Cattle feel your confidence. They want a confident leader and will follow that leader anywhere.

For a year, I repeated myself, not knowing if my advice was heard.

Then the whole 4-H Club came to my New Hampshire farm last February. I was in awe as they demonstrated exactly what I’d been telling them over and over. They had absorbed my words and worked their teams with confidence. No walking into walls, no running into poles — just the pure magic of confidence as they yoked up teams, rode my two massive Highland steers, and got my Highland steer, Owen, to drag a sled through the snow.

Demands at my New Hampshire farm have cut back my Island trips this year, but the few times I’ve come down to work with the 4-Hers, I hardly recognized them. Penny Athearn and Emme Carroll bought a pair of Guernsey-cross steers to train, joining Duck and Goose in the 4-H Cowpokes. The calves still ran and played, but when it was time to work, the girls were confident teamsters and the calves obedient teams.

This year, both teams will compete at the Ag Fair, and I’ll bring Owen and three pairs of my steers for the other 4-Hers who don’t own cattle to show. Come watch the Katama Cowpokes and their teams at the Fair. I’ll be on the sidelines cheering — and asking the girls for advice.

After all, the lesson is simple: confidence helps the trainer and the team.

Carole Soule is a 4-H leader and part-time Vineyard resident. She and her husband offer the Ultimate Cow Experience with Highland bovines on their Loudon, N.H. farm.