Twas Christmastime so Santa Claus
Was readying his pack
And filling it with candy canes
And holly and knickknacks
And calling up his reindeer
Who love the journey so
And telling them exactly
Where it was he wished to go.
St. Nick said how he needed them
Their sleigh would be his ship
To take them from their North Pole home
Above the Seven Seas.
Once, where they lived, there used to be
In winter a deep freeze,
But now with global warming
There’ve been glaciers melting fast
And snowfields disappearing
And a shortage of the grass
That reindeer like to munch on
(It’s really reindeer moss)
Though Donald Trump denies it
’Tis for reindeer a great loss
What global warming’s doing
To deer and polar bears
And other Arctic wildlife
With which the land they share,
So the reindeer were delighted
Not just to tour the world
But to find good grass to chew on,
Wherever it might be,
So the idea of a journey
Made them pleased as you can see.
They made sure the sleigh was ready —
That all was spick and span
For all the toys and trinkets
The chocolates and pecans
St. Nick was carrying with him
To give to those below
So off they flew into the sky
’Midst a few flakes of snow.
They headed south and ’twasn’t long
Before into their view
An object odd to everyone
Including me and you —
Was on the ground below them —
A tree of lobster pots
On Martha’s Vineyard Island
Where the deer have landed lots
Outside Menemsha’s Chandlery
Where Everett Poole holds court
With fishermen and cronies
Of every single sort.
The tree’d been put together
To welcome Christmas Day
But there was something missing
Lack-a-day-ah-lack-a-day
The tree of pots had on its top
A lobster pointing skyward
Not north or south or east or west
Or even port or starboard.
That wasn’t right, St. Nicholas said,
Atop a Christmas tree —
A lobster simply wasn’t right
For all the world to see.
It didn’t matter if the tree
Was pine or spruce or pots
A star was what there ought to be
Not lobster since it rots.
And from his sack St. Nick pulled out
A starfish pinkish-white
And placed it in the lobster’s claw
So Everett’s tree was right.
And while he was in Chilmark town
Wherein Menemsha lies,
St. Nick for Julie Flanders’ Bert
Had peppermints to eat
He’s been off-Island for awhile
So they should be a treat.
For Robert Ganz, who likes old cars,
There was, of them, a fleet.
And then there were,
For the Allen farm,
A rare new breed of sheep
With fleeces that were
All in plaid
As all the town can see
The fleeces were a special sort
For Anne Vanderhoop to use
For the wool sweaters
That she knits
In pinks and greens and blues
They’re perfect on cold winter days
For Islanders to wear
Ideal for shivering sailors,
Who then will have no cares.
St. Nick made sure
There was plaid wool
For all of Scottish ilk
Who’d scorn, of course,
A garment that was made for them
Of silk.
So Duncan MacDonald got some
And Cathlin Baker, too,
And that is just to mention
A very, very few.
And then St. Nick
Said to his deer
For Susie Bunker he had chicks
A rooster chick among them.
(At any time both night and day
The rooster should keep
Hawks away.)
Then Fiona Brown got a princess gown
To wear when she goes
To Edgartown
And Winky Keith got a macaw;
For the Sam Harts
There were oysters raw.
There were tickets to Frisco
For Tobin, Matt
To see his Emma
And that was that.
For Robin Smith
There were crayons and chalk
For the Chilmark youngsters
Who’re in her flock.
Monina von Opel
Got more hospital art
While for Dan Levintritt
Was a Broadway part.
Roe Belain got loops for her loom
And Betty Eddy
Plants in bloom.
While for Rhoda Diamond,
Who likes to dine out,
Was a Black Dog luncheon
About which she could shout.
Chris Murphy got a swordfishing hat
And for Jerry Catlin
Was a Welcome mat
For his new home
Up Chilmark way.
And then there was a rose a day
For Anna Duarte
Who loves them so.
For Karodina Sullivan and Milo
There were tasty bones
For Polly the pug.
Grace Vanderhoop got a great big puzzle,
While for Quiddie Shanor
Was a star-studded muzzle.
Megan Ottens-Sargent got a bigger gallery
While for Chris Belain
There was plenty of celery
For the tasty dishes he does prepare
The Philip Weinsteins
Got some Quimper.
That nowadays
Has become quite rare.
For Emily Robinson
Was a scarf of red silk
While Lynn Christoffers’ Diana
Got a year’s worth of milk.
Martha Moore got a horse
And a sturdy old plough
To get her from her woods
Even in heaps of snow.
For Oscar Flanders
There was a football.
He’ll be able to kick it
Even after he’s tall.
For Rhonda Backus
There were more hula hoops
While for Ann Burt
Were earrings that were loops.
Ben Moreau got a big, bad Chevy;
For Benjamin, Nat
Was a bronze cleat-heavy.
Cheryl Maltais for the tribal fire
Got plenty of wood.
for Jane Slater
There was a sapphire.
The reindeer were stomping their hooves
About then.
’Twas time to have dinner —
To find a nice glen
With grasses to eat —
If not reindeer moss,
They did need to eat something
They said to their boss.
St. Nick in his red suit
Was not at a loss.
Ocean Park in Oak Bluffs
He told Blitzen and Donder
Was the right place to go
And it was just yonder
If you flew through the air
The way reindeer can do
When it’s Christmas time
And they’re just here for you.
For folks of all towns
And the villages, too
And of beachfront grand dwellings
(There are more than a few)
In no time at all
They were in Ocean Park.
They arrived at a time
When it was just dark
But everywhere, there
As it came into view
Bright tree lights were gleaming —
Some green and some blue;
Some orange and some pink
On trees made out of wire
Ocean Park seemed, indeed
To be all afire
Designed, Santa said,
By Mark Crossland and Co.
’Twould have been at its best
If there had been snow,
But the reindeer were happy
To find grass to chew
While St. Nick kept on giving
His gifts to those few
Who still hadn’t had them.
For Gina DeBettencourt
Was a mighty Mixmaster
Not that she ever
Has had a disaster
With the one that she has
At the Edgartown School.
But Nick thought it was time
For a new one this Yule.
Then Loretta May
Got a trip to the moon
For she likes to travel
It’s none too soon.
And Roger Calla
Would like one too,
While Kevin MacDevette
Got crunchies to chew
Then Charlotte Goeckel
Got a new teddy bear,
Though it won’t replace
The one that’s there.
John Thayer got wood
For his cabinets grand
For McIntosh, Bruce,
To beat the band
There were lots of golf balls
To roll into the sand.
There were for Bob Douglas
Fair winds and right tides
For sailing Shenandoah
When summer arrives;
And then Laura Silber
Got a garden of chives
For the fine dishes
That she can prepare
That have all of her patrons
Walking on air
Dr. Steve Feder
Got an Island home
So he no longer
Will have to roam.
There were Bruins tickets
For Williamson, Pete
He really should find them
Very neat.
For Phronzie Vibberts
And Lesnikowski, Anne,
For the MV Museum
Santa gave them a plan
For a room of their own
For their flight memorabilia
Then there were new recipes
For Betsy Corsiglia
Hiraldo Plascimento
Got his own house.
Then Marjorie Peirce
Got her own pet mouse.
For Molly Finklestein
Was a kitchen new,
Then in Santa’s sack
Was a squirming alpaca
He really was hungry
To have a cracker
Or to go out grazing
With the reindeer
Who were munching away
Wherever ’twas clear
Of geese in the park
But he was a gift
For Houman, Yvonne,
So that on cold days
She’ll be kept most warm
By wool from his fleece.
While For Elliot Dacher
Was a trip to Greece.
And for Elaine Miller was a lobster roll,
And for Robbie Manning
Was a totem pole.
Kate Derosiers got garden clippers
And for Jill Macy
There were dancing slippers.
Tim Merriman got a chimney sweep’s hat.
Tall and impressive
And that was that.
John Harris got a Rhode Island red
And for Dick Knabel
Was flour for his bread.
Lolly Hand got a new
Bowling ball
While for Mark Lovewell
There was his own yawl.
For Everett Healy
Was a coffee machine
Along with a lot
Of dark roast beans,
For Anna Tomlinson
There were late birthday wishes
While for Jill Nichols
There were lovely dishes.
And Richard Pratt got a racing car
While for Linda Alley
There were many jars
For the jellies she makes
That are so fine.
And for Brandy Wight,
Now 100-plus
Were special good wishes
And Christmas fuss.
Ginger Norton got lessons in Dutch
Then Billy Merry, for his good deeds
Got rocks for his walls
That aren’t in the reeds.
And then Mike Wallo
Got a Cuban cigar
While for Cindy Meisner
Was Arctic char.
The reindeer by then
Thought it was the time
To be on their way
Though the park’d been sublime.
So St. Nick climbed aboard
Their high-flying sleigh
And ’twas off to the sky
And away and away.
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