Flags flew at half mast this week in Oak Bluffs to honor Lois A. DeBettencourt, a longtime presence at both the Oak Bluffs School and town hall, who died May 7 at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston after a short illness. She was 79.
Born in North Dighton on Dec. 21, 1928, Mrs. DeBettencourt moved to the Vineyard in the 1950s to become a teacher and never left. She married shortly after and became a fixture in the community. In addition to teaching, she was active in Girl Scouts as both a leader and administrator and was actively involved with her church, the Sacred Heart Parish of Oak Bluffs.
She served as the religious education coordinator for many years and taught the first communion class as well as many other class levels. She held various offices within the Women’s Guild and volunteered as both a lector and eucharistic minister. In 1974, she was awarded the prestigious Marian Medal.
When her boys were young, Mrs. DeBettencourt was involved with the Girl Scouts and Little League and from the beginning never missed either a game or activity. As she grew older she enjoyed watching her grandchildren who lived on the Island, Lucas and Kelsey, participate in both sports and school activities.
She also traveled many miles with her grandsons Julien, Jordan and Dylan both playing and watching baseball, basketball and soccer games all over the state. Over the past two summers, she spent a week in Cooperstown, N.Y., watching baseball games.
Family was very important to her, and she was the matriarch of her family, which extended over many generations. She helped organize numerous family reunions and get-togethers on a regular basis for both sides of her family. Recent years found her either working at the town clerk’s office, having lunch at Linda Jean’s or golfing on the links at Mink Meadows.
The Oak Bluffs town hall was closed for several hours Tuesday morning so staff could attend Mrs. DeBettencourt’s funeral, and all around town this week people could be found sharing stories and memories of the woman known to students as Mrs. DeBettencourt, but simply Lois to everyone else who knew her.
Priscilla Sylvia, a longtime teacher at the Oak Bluffs School who is now retired and a member of the school committee, worked with Mrs. DeBettencourt for a number of years. She recalled her easy nature with students but said she was also a stickler for things like spelling and proper manners.
Students knew that Mrs. DeBettencourt did not like them to wear hats or baseball caps, and were careful not to wear one in her presence. Mrs. Sylvia said Mrs. DeBettencourt was old-fashioned “in the best possible way,” which students appreciated and even welcomed. And though she could appear gruff at times, all the students knew inside she was “as soft as a marshmallow,” Mrs. Sylvia said, and she earned the respect and affection of both students and teachers with her consistency and patience.
Mrs. Sylvia said Mrs. DeBettencourt always treated everyone the same, although she would discreetly provide extra help if she noticed a student needed it.
“She was someone you could always depend on. I can remember one time we had this breakfast at school and one of the teachers made pancakes. But when it came time to serve we realized we didn’t have any maple syrup. So without hesitation, Lois volunteered to go and get some syrup, but when she was out getting it she slipped and broke her leg . . . but she never complained. That was Lois,” Mrs. Sylvia said.
She said Mrs. DeBettencourt selflessly served the town — both at the school and town hall — for nearly 50 years and never once asked what was in it for her. “She was just a giving person, it was in her nature to help people. And I think she thought of the whole town of Oak Bluffs as her extended family.”
Jennifer Robinson, another longtime teacher at the Oak Bluffs School, said Mrs. DeBettencourt had an uncanny ability to spot when a child was having a hard time or needed extra help or attention. “I would watch her with the kids and she would always check to make sure everyone was doing their reading and spending time with their friends. And if she noticed any of them by themselves she would go over and talk and bring them back into the group.”
Ms. Robinson said Mrs. DeBettencourt knew more about many of the children and their families than most of the staff. “She almost always knew the kids’ parents, so she was able to make these strong connections. More recently she told me about the people who came in [to the town clerk’s office] for a marriage license and how she used to see them in the classroom, and I think it made her happy to see them all grown up.”
Selectman Roger Wey recalled her passion for Island sports and her penchant for bringing a cow bell to games. “I can always remember her with that cow bell when my sons played football. I don’t think she ever missed a game. She was someone who loved this town and this Island, and was a welcome part of this community. She will be missed,” he said.
Town clerk Deborah deBettencourt Ratcliff said Mrs. DeBettencourt was also well known around town for an entirely different sport: her love of board games — especially the classic word game Scrabble.
“I think everyone can remember her playing Scrabble with her longtime friend Rose [Anthony]. You could find them a lot of days at Linda Jean’s playing one another,” Ms. Ratcliff said.
When news of Mrs. DeBettencourt’s death reached the town hall last week, many town employees and other residents donned small stickers on their lapels that served as both a reminder of their old friend and an emblem of her many years serving the town of Oak Bluffs.
Throughout the week, as well as during her funeral on Tuesday, people were spotted wearing the stickers with the happy declaration “I Voted Today” that Ms. DeBettencourt proudly awarded to so many town voters after they cast ballots.
“I don’t think you would ever find someone as dedicated to this town or who enjoyed playing a part in the democratic process,” said selectman Kerry Scott. “She always did serve with a smile, and people loved her for that.”
Survivors include a son David of Oak Bluffs, a son Jay and his wife Rebecca of Forestdale, a daughter in law Laura of Oak Bluffs and five grandchildren. In addition to her immediate family, she leaves a large extended family and many close friends.
She was predeceased by her husband John and son Peter.
In lieu of flowers, the family requests that tax-deductible donations be made to the Peter DeBettencourt Family Fund, in care of Martha’s Vineyard Savings Bank, P.O. Box 610, West Tisbury MA 02575.
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