Rita Merlet Barrows died on Jan. 23 at Long Hill in Edgartown. She was 92.
She was the daughter of Ernest Henri Merlet and Philomene Chevalier Merlet. She grew up in Hartford, Conn., and graduated from St. Joseph College in Hartford, class of 1939. In 1942 she was married to Richard Edward Barrows and they were lovingly together until his death in 1974. They raised one daughter, Philisse Marie.
When Rita was 17 her sister, Therese, was born to their 41-year-old mother.
In 1934 medical knowledge was such that their father had been sent home without the baby and told it would be better to let the baby go as she was weak and his wife would not be strong enough to care for her. Rita, outraged, sent him right back to get the baby. For the next year Rita was really the mom for Therese. Eventually both Therese and their mother recovered but that year made a very strong lifelong, loving bond between Rita and her sister.
At St. Joseph College Rita was named “most individual in a class of individuals.” Money was tight, so Rita lived at home and learned how to sew all her clothes. She developed a particular dress style which became known as the Rita dirndl and was much admired by the other girls. Rita honed her sewing abilities over the years and later made many mother-daughter look-alike outfits for herself and her daughter.
Rita was a teacher for 20 years, of French and Latin, at Long Lots Jr. High School in Westport, Conn. While at Long Lots Rita was one of the first teachers to work with the Dictaphone Company in exploring the feasibility of establishing an electronic classroom. Dictaphone executives and engineers created a language lab classroom to the specifications set out by Rita. She wrote the technical booklet to go along with the lab and was featured on a morning television show introducing this new educational method.
After retiring from teaching, she pursued a variety of employment opportunities. Among them were working in advertising for the Westport Country Playhouse, the Greenwich Dinner Theatre, and a local radio station in Westport; she also was a newspaper correspondent in Somers, Conn., a medical librarian for the Stafford Memorial Hospital and a sales representative for a housing development in Ocala, Fla. She was also a docent for the Appleton Museum in Ocala.
After leaving Westport Rita lived in northern Connecticut, Oakland, Calif., Pittsburg, Calif., Ocala Fla., and Vineyard Haven with her daughter. For the last couple of years she lived at Long Hill in Edgartown. One of her favorite memories was of her move from California to Florida. She was in her 70s and drove a huge rental truck while wearing a wide-brimmed sun hat, accompanied by a large teddy bear in the passenger seat. She recalled receiving many friendly waves from passing truckers.
While living in California, a man named Tom Angel became her companion and they spent a few years enjoying extensive travel until Tom’s death in 1987. In Ocala Rita’s life was enriched by a new companion, Sydney Holtzman. They enjoyed dancing, cooking and a great deal of laughter. After a heart attack in 2006, Rita moved to the Vineyard but remained closely connected to Sydney until his death in 2008.
She was always quick to embrace new ideas and ways of living. At age 88, still in recovery from a heart attack, she was ready to make the trip from Florida to the Vineyard into a grand adventure. She and Philisse rented a large RV and with the help of a friend, Connie Lewis, the three women took a meandering weeklong road trip — sometimes staying in the RV at night, sometimes in a hotel or cabin.
Her daily motto was carpe diem. She truly lived it, welcoming each new morning with joy. At age 90 at Long Hill, she found a way to still feel useful in the world by tutoring a young Brazilian woman who was learning English.
Rita’s smile lit up a room and made people wish to be with her. She never had a harsh word for anyone and never complained even after she no longer had any physical strength and was totally dependent on others. She touched many lives and will be greatly missed.
She is survived by her daughter, Philisse Barrows of Vineyard Haven; her granddaughter Agatha Kerr and Agatha’s husband Chuck and great-granddaughter Anastasia Kerr, all of Schertz, Tex.; a sister, Therese McMahon and her husband William of Falls Church, Va.; nieces and nephews Diane, Keith, Denise, Mary and Maureen; step-grandchildren David, Kevin and Amy McKenzie; step great-grandchildren Valia and Gwen.
Her death was peaceful, with her daughter and their good friend Elizabeth Sandland by her side and the Long Hill house cat, Kit, snuggled up with her.
A memorial service will be held on April 24 at Long Hill at 2 p.m.
In lieu of flowers the family requests donations in her memory to Long Hill, P.O. Box 1183 Edgartown, MA 02539, where Rita was treated with great love and full dignity throughout her last years; or to Hospice of Martha’s Vineyard, P.O. Box 2549, Oak Bluffs MA 02557, whose volunteers and staff were always supportive; or to the Unitarian Universalist Society of Martha’s Vineyard, Box 1236 Vineyard Haven, MA 02568, who gave continued support to both Rita and her daughter.
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