Winner’s Circle

I’m trying to rhyme the word “Vineyard;”

Thank goodness it isn’t a sin word.

Unlike that Nantucket

Where oaths fill a bucket,

We keep our frustrations all inward.

— Eileen Maley

•

A man with no key to Quansoo

His paltry investments did rue

With portfolio tanked

That bright shining bank

Could only be reached by canoe.

— Beth Parker

•

When walking along Lucy Vincent

Some strollers are driven to wince. It’s

true that the view

might be grand for a few

But for others .... well sometimes it isn’t.

— Doug Brush

•

There was a West Tisbury lass

Whose hand always held a full glass;

She said I’m no Houdini,

But with my Martini,

I’m more than a bit upper-class.

— Allen Janger

•

An up-Island damsel named May

Held views quite decidedly fey;

“But,” she said with a wink,

“I can’t know what I think,

Until I have heard what I say.”

— Jonathan Revere

Honorable Mention

The Times says you’re looking for rhymes;

The Gazette writes of wind power crimes;

The battle still rages

Between these news pages,

While the Broadside gets by on our dimes.

— Eileen Maley

•

A Seven Gates gal came a-cropper

’cause Madoff had made her a pauper

she whined and she yelped

and fired all the help

even her personal shopper.

— Beth Parker

•

Six towns make our isle of MV

Of which we are proud as can be

While we govern as parts

We are whole in our hearts

The best kind of democracy

— Barbara Chandra

•

Anonymity-seeking film stars

Say “The Vineyard is best by far.

The locals don’t stare

when we walk through the Fair

Could it be they don’t care who we are?”

— Doug Brush

•

There is a very small tick

Whose bite is merely a nick;

We owe it to the deer

Who brought it out here,

So that all of our tourists get sick.

— Paul Levine

•

While swimming offshore down Wasque

Our Annie saw something quite risky,

Between her and the beach

A shark’s within reach.

Her exit was naturally frisky.

— Michael Sears

•

A Tisbury lad went out fishing;

At least that was what he was wishing;

But what do you bet

He found in his net

Was a lass with a tail all a-swishing.

— Brigitte Lent

•

When visiting Sengekontacket

In only my Black Dog rain jacket

The mosquitoes seemed smitten.

Rapaciously bitten,

I left, unable to hack it.

— Patricia Lee

•

West Tis’ has a brand new Town Hall

But the Library’s the best place of all.

Everyone has a smile,

You can read the whole while,

And you’ll leave feeling fifty feet tall.

— Maureen Hall