A Night to Remember

The dates, the dresses, the drama. It can be hard, years after the fact, to recall how significant the prom seems when you are in the teenage social scene. Parents may sniff that being prom king is utterly trivial a few years down the line, and that it will not really matter what you wore (whatever it is, we seem to regret it eventually), but that is not how the whole thing looks to those who are making plans for the prom — and maybe pre-prom, after-prom, and after-after breakfast. Make no mistake, the prom is a rite of passage.

The night of the prom, nationwide, is also second only to high school graduation for teen drinking, drug use and the crimes and accidents that come with what the experts call preventable behaviors, including unplanned sex. It’s a celebration for the students who attend and a challenge for police, school administrators, parents and others concerned with the well-being of our Island youth. It was for parents of promgoers that the Youth Task Force last week provided a relaxed, free dinner and plenty of sound advice.

Saturday night is the Martha’s Vineyard Regional High School’s junior prom, at the Beach Plum Inn from seven to ten. Parents are advised to talk to their teen beforehand about the ground rules: Get his or her itinerary for the night, arrange check-in times, know whom they will be traveling with and check in with those kids’ parents. Meet your teen’s date if you can, and contact his or her parents and make sure you’re getting the same information and communicating the same expectations. Parents who connected at the task force dinner noted that with boys in particular, getting a plan ahead of time can be tricky; some parents agreed to set Saturday noon as the deadline for having a plan for their kids, girl or boy.

Many plans this year include so-called “limo buses” from off-Island. With a capacity to hold more than forty people, these also have the capacity to be a mobile party, especially in the otherwise aimless hours in between the after-parties ending around two in the morning and breakfast parties starting at five. (All students must take a Breathalyzer test at the door to the dance.) Youth Task Force members have reminded transport companies of the liabilities involved if teens are allowed to drink alcohol in the buses, but in truth it will be up to individual drivers to be vigilant, The task force leaders are going to Woods Hole on Saturday to hand-deliver flyers to drivers, referencing the laws and reminding them that Martha’s Vineyard cares about our kids.

The student-run SafeRides program will operate until four in the morning on prom night, providing rides home, no questions asked, to anyone who finds themselves without transportation or in any way uncertain or feeling unsafe. The number to call is 508-939-9100. Although designated drivers are good, it’s not wise to count on another teen — even a date — to stay sober and drive your teen home. Do your best to make sure your teens feel comfortable calling you for a ride for themselves and friends. Let them know you will be considerate and discreet, not embarrassing.

The small Chilmark police force will be prepared, as will other town forces through the night. Police, the district attorney and school leaders have held meetings in recent months to discuss preparations. Police have asked the community to let them know about party rumors, so that the authorities can prevent trouble rather than punish teens.

To all who are attending, have a sensational evening. And please be safe, to ensure that it will be the best kind of night to remember.