Every time I see President Obama autographing a piece of legislation in the Oval Office, I’m in awe of how neat his desk looks. I mean, here’s the head of one of the most powerful countries in the world — as of last week, that is — and there’s nothing on his desk but a telephone and a notepaper dispenser. That’s from my limited perspective as a television viewer, of course. Maybe he also uses a blotter, one he can doodle on while carrying on delicate negotiations with, say, Afghanistan’s Hamid Karzai.
How does the president manage to run a nation of over 300 million people without even so much as a sticky note from Michelle about the next PTA meeting on his desk? I happen to have three desks, all piled high with magazines, folders, books, clippings, a disorganized desk organizer and a laptop, and all I have to run is one half of a two-person household.
Apropos laptop, why isn’t there one on the president’s desk? Does he never have to Google the macroeconomic situation in Micronesia, for example? And doesn’t he need to keep his reflexes sharp by playing Bombs Away on Rogue States? That’s a computer game that prepares him to deal with countries like North Korea or Iran by acquiring decision-making skills through split-second, joy-stick control. Surely, behind one of those curved, wallpapered doors in the Oval Office there’s got to be a game room.
One reason the president’s desk looks so neat must be the rise of the paperless office. He may be the first U.S. chief executive to rule by means of a Blackberry. Instead of dictating memos, which have to be typed, revised, and retyped, only to be filed away in some archive, he sits behind his desk, or up in his private White House quarters, and taps messages into his Blackberry, such as politely declining invitations to tea parties. Using a Blackberry has one advantage — no memos, no paper trails. There is WikiLeaks, though, for which the plumbers of Watergate fame may have to be resurrected.
Another thing you never see in pictures of the Oval Office is a wastepaper basket and a paper shredder. Of course, in a totally paperless office, equipment of this kind is obsolete. But in some instances paper is still necessary. Treaties get signed, sealed and delivered as hard copies. Newly arriving ambassadors hand in their credentials. This is where shredders come in handy.
The absence of an in box on Obama’s desk is the ultimate labor-saving concept — no in box, no need for an out box. At one time, though, I spotted some kind of flat tray larger than eight and a half by 11 inches on the president’s desk. It had to be a holding pen for the odd piece of paper destined for a shredder.
That’s when I realized what’s wrong with my three desks. Their combined surfaces have been serving me as a holding pen, an outsized in box which has been overflowing for lack of an out box. Here’s what I’ll do: I’ll get three more desks and repurpose them as out boxes, each with its own shredder. Then all six desks of mine should rival the president’s desk in neatness. Thank you, Mr. President, for having set an example for me.
Peter Dreyer is a summer resident in Edgartown.
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